The Madness of Kurosaki's Sanity
by 9foxgrl
Summary: One shots of the madness between Ichigo, Zangetsu, and Hollow Ichigo. It's a miracle Ichigo isn't in the loony bin.Taking suggestions from readers. I do not own Bleach.
1. Go to School Shiro

Ch. 1 Go to School Shiro

9foxgrl

A/N: I'm going to write a few shorts about Ichigo and living with his Hollow and Zanpaktuo.

Ichigo was lying on his bed coughing and sneezing. Hard to believe the hero of the Soul Sociey could get sick, and yet here he was. With a box of tissues next to him; Kon was hiding, afraid that he would get sick too.

"Oy King! Don't you have a big important exam today?"

Achoo!

"That was a yes." Zangetsu replied.

Ichigo rolled over still feverish, he hated getting sick. A cold especially. "I hate myself. I'm going to miss that stupid math final. Ugh…not like it would matter, I didn't study for it."

Hichigo Shirosaki aka Ichigo's hollow snickered. "So it's no big deal. That math you are taking is super easy."

Ichigo cracked open his eyes. "You…understand calculus?"

"What the hell?" he and Zangetsu yelled.

"Hey! It's not that hard. When I get bored I while you're at school I tune into your lessons."

If Ichigo wasn't lying down he would have face faulted. "Really?"

"**Yeah!"**

'_Shiro…do you want to go take my Math final?'_

The Hollow looked up. **"Huh?"**

'_You get to possess my body at school today, just stay long enough for the exam. If you get the highest score I'll draw up a contract for you to be able to possess me on certain occasions. Oh yeah, and you get to brag in Uryu's face if you score is better than his.'_

Shiro cheered.

'My uniform is in my closet, oh yeah, get a surgical mask from my dad's office and get him to write a note saying I'm just there to take my final.'

"Yah! I get to go to school!" Shiro chanted.

Zangestu sighed.

Shiro walked to school dressed in Ichigo's school clothes. Ichigo was in the inner world trying to sleep off the cold while Zangetsu listened to Ichigo's I pod. Don't ask how Ichigo got it in there, he doesn't know.

An hour later Hichigo was walking out of the high school looking smug. 'Pay up. Got a 98 and knocked Uryu to third! Ha ha!'

Ichigo woke up the next day groggy from his cold medicines. Hw didn't want to go to school but today was his history exam.

"Hm…hey Hichigo do you want to take a history test?"

"**Heck yea"**

The End


	2. Zangetsu vs Pokemon

**Ch. 4 Zangetsu and vs. Pokémon**

Do not own Bleach or Pokémon, Grand Theft Auto, and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare.

By: 9foxgrl

Assisted by Chibioso

"PIKACHU I CHOSE YOU!"

"**BEAT HER UP DRATINI!"**

"NO!"

"**Not my Dratini!" **

Ichigo groaned and hit his head on his desk.

"No! You stupid bastard! You killed my Pikachu!"

'_What are you guys doing?'_ Ichigo groaned.

"**Zanny and I found two Nintendo DSi consoles and Pokémon Soul Silver and Heart Gold in one of the buildings! We've been racing to see who can beat all the Gym leaders first!"**

'And~!'

"Bugsy killed my Pikachu!" wailed Zangetsu.

"**Whitney killed my Dratini!"** Hichigo cried.

Ichigo hit his head again. _'Why should I care? I beat that game weeks ago!'_

The two wailed again and Ichigo shut the mental links again. He suffered through the rest of his Japanese class then moved onto P.E. They were playing dodge ball when the voices came back.

"EKANS USE POISON STING!"

"**FLAFFY THUNDERSHOCK!" **

Ichigo fell at the sound of it and missed a barrage of balls and they ended up beating up Keigo.

"Ichigo why did you do that? You were my human shield!" Keigo wailed as he was carried away to the First Aid tent.

'_Stop you guys!'_

"Never! CHUCK MUST DIE!" screamed Zangetsu.

"**JASMINE WILL BE CHARBOILED!"**

'_How did I end up with a crazy zanpaktou and inner Hollow who ar evideo game junkies?'_ Ichigo hissed as he got ready for the next wave. It was Ichigo and Uryu vs ten upperclassmen. The tension was high.

"**DIE STEELIX! DIE! DIE AND BURN BY MY CERO!"**

"If you destroy your DSi I'm not sharing mine!...WHAT? I JUST GOT PAST YOU BASTARDS AND YOU TURNED ON THE WATERFALL? OH YOU ARE SCREWED!"

"**I will serve Jasmine as a charbroiled burger!"**

"Are you hungry? If you are go to that building where we found all the food."

Ichigo did a pirouette and the balls missed him by inches. Were it not for his training as a Quincy Uryu would have been bombarded instead it hit a passing squirrel. Two of the classmen were then chased off the school grounds by the squirrel's angry family.

"What in the world is wrong with you?" the Quincy snapped.

Ichigo made several angry facial expressions then turned to him. "Sorry, inner conflict!"

(Later that night…)

"**I BEAT CLAIRE!" **

"Crap!"

"So did I." Zangetsu said smugly.

Suddenly Ichigo materialized in the inner world and wrestled the DSi's out of their hands.

"Enough! Shut up and let me sleep." Ichigo roared and left.

The two inner psyches stood in mourning for the loss of their games then returned to the building where they had found the games. suddenly cheered.

"**I found Grand Theft Auto and a PSP!"**

Zangetsu chuckled. "Have fun with that, I found an X box and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare."

(The next day…)

"**OH NO I'M BEING CHASED BY COPS! BETTER RUN OVER THAT SQUAD CAR!"**

"Slow down! You just ran over a fire hydrant!"

"**Shut up! You almost shot your General!"**

The End.


	3. Imitating Shinigami

Ch. 3 Imitating the Shinigami

**"Hey King...I've been practicing my imitations of the Gotei 13."**

_'Not now, I'm in a meeting with the Captains..'_

**"Oh? I did not know that you associated with such trash."** Hichigo said imitating Byakuya's zombie like tone.

Ichigo down on his bottom lip when he caught Byakuya's gaze. _'Stop Hichigo.'_

**"Wanna hear shorty? Masumoto! Do your work you damn drunk!"**

_'Stop it!'_

**"Now for the guy Shushi? Hey there cutie want a drink of sake?"** Hichigo said in a southern drawl voice he then changed to a loud scottish voice. **"Great scot! What are you doing man you're a captain! You should';t be chasing after those floozies! You have work to do! Like it? That was the old geezer." **

Ichigo snickered then covered it off with a coughing fit making the Captains throw him a look then resume the meeting.

_'Stop...'_

**"Oy! Ichigo! Check out my Chappy!" **

That did it for Ichigo. He shunpoed out of the room leaving the Captains very confused until they hear loud laughter similar to that of Ichigo's Hollow.

"KUROSAKI IS LAUGHING!"

THE END IS NEAR!"

"WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!"

"KENPACHI IS GETTING BANKAI NEXT!"

"AH!"


	4. Scary Movie Night

Ch.4 Scary Movie Night

By: 9foxgrl

* * *

><p>"<strong>So what we watching tonight King?"<strong> Hichigo asked as they all lounged around in the inner world.

It was the second Friday of the month, which meant one thing: Movie Night. This had started after Zangetsu discovered a building with so many movies that it put Blockbuster and Netflix's to shame, a giant screen with surround sound, three comfy chairs and a dully stocked snack bar. The trip would raid the area and spend until sunrise watching movies.

"Hm. Well its October, so how about a scary movie?" Ichigo asked as he stood watching the popcorn kernels popping in a large popcorn machine. Next to him was also an assortment of drinks and other snacks.

"Ha, like anything can scare us!" Hichigo hissed as he came back from the scary movies section. "Oh well, Zanny you get the first pick tonight."

"Stop calling me that!" the disgruntled zanpaktou snapped as he browsed the selection the hollow had brought. "What the hell is The Ring?"

"No clue lets watch it."

A few hours later….

"**Boring…"** the hollow huffed as the credits rolled. Next to him Zangetsu was as pale as the albino and Ichigo was asleep.

"**That was so boring! NEXT"**

"Carrie." Ichigo said as he woke up.

"Huh?"

"It's based on a book written by Stephen King." Ichigo commented. "I read it once, it was good and I always wanted to see the movie."

(After the movie...)

All three bore the same expression. o.O

"Holy..."

"Shitake mushroom soup." 

"**Those evil preps had it coming!"**

"Its always the quiet ones you should look out for."

**"I think I'm in love!"** Hichigo suddenly cheered.

The two older spirits looked at the albino in horror.

"Are you freaking serious?"

"I think he is!"

"You like the quiet violent type?" 

Hichigo smiled**. "Carrie is my kind of girl! King can you manifest her here?"**

"Oh heck no! I don't need anymore nightmares or a mini you running around!"

"I second the motion."

"Motion carried!"

**"No fair! My heart is broken!" Hichigo wailed and entered his emo corner. **

"Okay, last movie and its my pick. Huh...'Halloween' nah, what the Hell is 'Pet Cemetery II'?"

"Another movie based on a Stephen King novel."

"Hm, alright lets watch it."

(At the end of the movie)

Ichigo was asleep and Zangetsu was clapping. Hichigo was still brooding in his emo corner about his forbidden love.

The End.


	5. The Artist in All of Us

Ch. 5 The Artist in all of us

9foxgrl

"**Ichigo get your arse in here!"**

'_What now Zangetsu? I need to sleep, I have a PE fitness test tomorrow.'_

"**Oh like you won't ace that! This is an emergency!"**

'_What Hichigo is tap dancing again? I told you to stick tacks in his shoes._' the tired teen groaned as he rolled over.

"**NO!"**

'_He's singing opera?'_

"**Thankfully no."**

'_Reenacting a one man version of WWI?'_

""**No."**

'_Pretending he's King of the World?'_

"**No! He's painting a mural on the buildings! AND IT ACTUALLY LOOKS GOOD!"**

Ichigo groaned. _'Alright, I'm coming.'_

Ichigo dropped into his inner world was to say the least, shocked.

He was staring at a life sized portrait of himself dressed as a feudal emperor sitting on a gold throne in front of a palace with Hichigo and Zangestu on either side poised as his loyal top Generals/Bodyguards. The other Shinigami stood to his left side as his army and the Vizards, Urahara, and Yoruichi to his right dressed as ninja. In the distant background was every enemy they ever battled on a fiery battlefield dying. The entire portrait took up the entire side of the building.

"Whoa…"

"**That's what I said!"**

"When..? How..?"

"**All I did was tell him to get a new hobby!"**

**The end**


	6. Fluffy

Ch. 6 Fluffy

~9foxgrl Rant: Sorry I've been gone folks. But I'm back. This short was inspired by _**nami101**_.~

Normal speaking

**Hichigo talking **

Zangetsu talking

_Ichigo thinking_

"**ICHIGO!"**  
><em>'WHAT?'<em>

"**I want a bunny!"**

Ichigo nearly fell off his bed. _'What? WHY?'_

"**I'm so alone and ZanZan won't play with me!"**

"Because your annoying."

"**See?" **Hichigo whined. "I need a friend. A bunny"

"Just give it to him Ichigo so he'll shut up!"

'_Do you promise to take care of it? Feed it? Clean after it? IF I GIVE YOU A BUNNY WILL YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?'_

"**YAH!"**

Ichigo furrowed his brows in concentration and imaged a soft white bunny materializing in Hichigo's arms.

A squeal of joy from his mindscape confirmed that it worked.

"**He's so cute! I shall love him and pet him and name him Fluffy!"**

"That's nice…" Zangetsu said starring at the sky.

*Hour later*

"Ichigo…if it's not to much trouble can I have a bunny too?"


	7. Shinigami Substitute Teachers pt1

Ch. 7 Shinigami Substitue Teachers

9foxgrl

Ichigo's jaw dropped. He had gone to Chemistry a little early to fetch his forgotten book in his locker when and froze at the door. There was a substitute teacher. Not just any substitute...it was...

KISUKE URAHARA!

He was dressed normally adorning a dark green shirt with the collar loose and jungle green suit pants and shoes. He also wore a lab coat and his signature hat. He was sitting at his desk reading a newspaper or magazine. What ever it was it was making him laugh.

"Oh...Snap..." Ichigo muttered.

'_**Oh Sh*** is more like it.**_' Hichigo, Ichigo's inner hollow commented.

**"**I agree with Hichigo**." **Zangetsu commented.

_**'Really?'**_

"Shut up. Don't get too cocky about it." 

Ichigo tried to sneak off but Kisuke spotted him.

"ICHIGO! Ah! My favorite pupil! Seems a lot of teachers are out sick today so we're here to step in!"

Ichigo paled.

"W-W-We?"

"Yup!" Kisuke yelled showing him a roster.

**"RUN KING!"**

Ichigo didn't need to be told twice.

* * *

><p>"WHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAATTTT!"<p>

Promptly after his talk with Kisuke Ichigo found his friends. He gave them a quick spill about what was going on and which Shinigami volunteered as substitutes at the school.

Byakuya - History

Kenpachi & Soi Fon - PE

Unohana - Health Science

Mayuri - Advance Biology

Kisuke - Chemistry

Uryu paled. "I think I'll skip Biology and go home sick..."

"Nii-sama is teaching my History class?"

"Health sounds like its will be fun!" Orihime chimed.

"I don't think anyone is getting out of PE alive today." Chad said in his usual calm demeanor.

"Why?" Tatsuki asked.

"Soi Fon is...erm...how to nicely phrase this?"

"A meaner version of Tatsuki?" Orihime suggested.

"Yea and Kenpachi is the devil." Ichigo added.

Keigo promptly fainted.

"I should definitely leave before Biology."

"Umm...I think I should skip the rest of the day." Renji commented.

"Just call your dad he can give you a note." Chad commented. "He is a doctor."

"I do not acknowledge that man!" Uryu snapped.

"Better yet just call my dad." Ichigo replied. "He'll agree to anything."

"I hope not. We're doing dissections today." chimed a familiar voice.

Uryu jumped and hid behind Chad. None of them had sensed the Captain's arrivals.

"Oh-"

"- sh***" Uryu gulped finishing Ichigo's sentence.

**"RUN KING!"**

(to be continued)


	8. Thank You

Thank You

9foxgrl

A/N: I'm warning you now, non of my writing for this story of one shot are chronological. Just saying.

* * *

><p>Ichigo Normal talking<p>

**Zangetsu**

_**Hichigo Talking**_

* * *

><p>Ichigo was returning from his battle with the Bounts in the Soul Society. It had been a long fight, and there had been several times he nearly died. Like with that Bount Dalk and his metal doll.<p>

It was then Ichigo remembered that his Hollow self stepped in to save him. He kicked himself for not thanking him. He hated to admit it, but he did owe it to the pesky Hollow.

-Later-

"Hichigo…"

"_**What King? Come to check on your horse?" **_

"I…just wanted thank you…for saving me all those times…"

Hichigo looked at Ichigo in confusion. He was always questioning his sanity.

"_**What?"**_

"From Byakuya…and that Bount Dalk…I never thanked you for saving me from them…"

"_**Well…I guess you're welcome King."**_

"Thank you…"

"_**But you do realize the only reason I stopped them was because I don't want to die either right?"**_

"I know." Ichigo said as he left.

Nearby Zangetsu huffed.

"**You two are like brothers you know that."**

Hichigo made a face.

"_**Yeah I know, as much as I would hate to admit it."**_

"**Well that's the first step."**

"…_**and you're the lazy uncle."**_

"**And proud of."**


	9. Shinigami Substitute Teachers pt 2

Ch. 9~ Shinigami Substitute Teachers pt.2

9foxgrl

History - Byakuya

"So the substitute teacher is your older brother Rukia?" Keigo asked as they filed in.

"Yes, I didn't expect him to be our teacher though." Rukia said in a cheerful tone.

Ichigo was still blanched from earlier. He was going to spend the entire class period in silence. The doors open and Byakuya came in dress in a black business suit. His hair was down and held only by a band. He looked rather intimidating.

"My name is Kuchiki, Byakuya. You may refer to me as Kuchiki-sensai. For the next week I will be your teacher so I advise you to keep your mouth shut." Byakuya said in a stern voice.

Rukia was sitting near the front hanging on every word, while Ichigo was wishing he could disappear. A week with Byakuya as his history teacher, it made him want to die.

"**Don't King, I don't want to die."**

'_Then you will take any tests he gives us.'_ Ichigo told his inner Hollow.

"**Sounds good, can I gloat to that Quincy?"**

'_What do I care?'_

Byakuya opened the book to the feudal era where they had left off. He paused momentarily on a page making a look of disgust.

"Is something wrong Kuchiki-sensai?" Mizurio asked.

"This man…he owed me money."

"He…what?"

Ichigo nearly fell out of his seat.

P.E. - Soi Fon

"Alright ladies listen up! We're playing volleyball today!" Soi Fon yelled to the assembled girls. "But first we are going to do warm up drills. Form up in lines of six."

A minute after they all formed up all the girls were wondering what kind of warm-ups were doing. After twenty minutes several members of the class had collapsed on the ground.

"Oh come on, that was only two hundred pushups!" Soi Fon yelled.

"ONLY?" a girl shrieked.

"Please, I do a thousand every morning." Soi Fon scoffed. "Count off in ones and twos for your teams."

"But Ma'am! Can't I be on dear Orihime's team?" Chizure yelled.

"No exceptions; get in your teams already!" Soi Fon yelled.

"But ma'am-"

"If you but ma'am me again you can spend the entire period running laps!" Soi Fon roared.

Chizure whimpered then ducked behind Ryo. Soi Fon started off the game and watched as the girls hit it to each other. She occasionally stopped the game to fix their stances or to give them a water break.

By the time they left all the girls wanted to die. Ironically enough Tatsuki was the only one not breathing hard. Soi Fon made a mental note of this to keep.


	10. How to Keep your Hollow Busy

**Ch. 10 How to Keep Your Hollow Busy**

9foxgrl

Summary: slight cross over from 'Eloquence'. Ichigo works through different methods of keeping his inner Hollow Hichigo Shirosaki entertained.

* * *

><p><strong>Stage 1: School work<strong>

_**"King...I'm bored!"**_

_-Play with Zangetsu.-_

_**"Zanny doesn't want to play with me!"**_ Hichigo whined.

-What about your bunny Fluffy?-

_**"I haven't seen Fluffy or Umbra since last week. They hopped into the park and disappeared."**_

-Oh crap, my mindscape better not be overruned by rabbits.-

"_**Can you play with me?"**_

-I'm in math class!-

_**"Zanny play with me!"**_

_**"..."**_

_**"Zanny!"**_

_**"..."**_

_"__**ZanZan...Zanzan...Zanny!"**_Hichigo_ sang._

_**"..."**_

_**"KING! ZANNY IS DEAD!"**_

_"__**AM NOT!...I was sleeping..."**_

_**"You sleep?"**_

-o.O...Okay... did not know that.-

_**"I'm bored Zanny!"**_ Hichigo wailed.

-Enough! I'm about to take a history test! Hichigo ...write an essay on why you are better than me! Spelling, and grammer counts! 5000 word minimum!-

_**"No fair! I don't have anything to write with!"**_

Hichigo suddenly finds himself surrounded by stacks of paper, a typewriter, pencils, pens, and a few crayons.

-There!-

*ten minutes later*

_**"King! I'm bored!" **_

-Did you write the essay?-

_**"I ran out of paper playing spitball war with Zanny..."**_

-Lemme guess you lost.-

_**"Zanny can move while he sleeps!"**_

-Wait. What did you do with the typewriter?-

_**"Zanny said he was writing memoirs on it in case you need therapy...what the hell are memoirs?"**_

"**It's another way of saying autobiography."** Zangetsu said nonchalantly. **"****Hmm…we should publish it Ichigo."**

-Yeah, I'm sure it would make a good fantasy story.-

* * *

><p><strong>Stage 2 – Trivia Challenge<strong>

_**"King, I'm bored!"**_

*poof*

_**"What the hell is this?"**_

-Triva questions. Now let's see who is smarter, you or Zangetsu.-

_"Bring it on Zangetsu!"_

_**"Whatever..."**_

*an hour later*

-Well you guys. Let's see your answers and compare the scores.-

**"I got 87% correct."**Zangetsu mentioned as he reviewed his paper.

_**"I got 9.899999%!"**_

-Hichigo...you flunked!-

_"__**Huh?"**_

**"YOU FAIL AT TRIVA!"**Zangetsu yelled.

* * *

><p><strong>Stage 3: Write a Book<strong>

Ichigo was grumbling on his way home. He saw several boys from Karin and Yuzu's school hanging out with them. Some of them; despite only being preteens, were already making lecherous looks at them.

-Little perverts!- Ichigo thought. –I should start making a list of how to deal with them when they come knocking at the house. Dad won't mind if mentally scar a few…-

"_**King, you just gave me an idea."**_

-Does it involve hurting those brats or chasing them away?-

"_**Both King, but I need control temporarily of your body."**_

-You swear not to hurt my sisters?-

"_**They're my sisters too!"**_

"**He swears on his little Hollow heart."**

"_**Yeah that too."**_

-Deal.-

A month later two novels_, 'Substitute Shinigami'_ by Zangetsu and _'__100 Ways to make horny boys leave your little sister alone' _by H. Shirosaki were published in Karakura. They were on the top seller list for the rest of the year.


	11. Uninvited Guests

Ch. 11~ Uninvited Guests

9foxgrl

Muramusa entered Ichigo's mindscape and looked around. He was surprised at the complexity of the substitute Shinigami's mind. He was about to walk around when out of no where he was hit by a flying white bullet.

He crashed into a building only to be punched in the stomach and then thrown into another building.

"_**Who are you intruder?"**_

Muramusa looked up to see an albino version of the substitute. He radiated a power that screamed Hollow.

"_**I said who are ya?" **_the Hollow asked again.

"You are the boy's true power?" Muramusa asked as he stood up ready to fight.

The Hollow cocked his head to the side then looked up at the sky.

"_**Oy! King! I cornered him! Can I butcher him for kidnapping Zanny yet?"**_

Muramusa jumped when Ichigo's voice echoed through the mindscape.

"Go ahead while I try and beat sense into Zangetsu."

"_**Yes Sir!" **_the Hollow said with a mock salute.

"And Hichigo?"

"_**Yes?"**_

"You don't have to be nice to the uninvited guest."

A sadistic look overtook Hichigo's face. Muramusa felt a chill go down his spine.

"_**If you say so King."**_

'_Oh Hell…'_


	12. Send in the Clowns

Ch. 12 - Send in the Clowns

9foxgrl

Another inspiration by nami101

"Hey Ichigo! Dad is taking us to the circus!" Yuzu cheered enthusiastically. She didn't seem to notice him flinch at the word 'circus'. "Want to come?"

"Sorry Yuzu. I got a test to study for. Bring me a candy apple back please?"

"Sure."

"_**Hey King, why aren't ya going to the circus with your family?" **_Hichigo asked.

"…"

"_**King? You ain't dead on ya feet are ya?"**_

"We would be dead too idiot."

'_You really want to know?'_

"_**Hell yea!"**_

"Yes, I would like to know to Ichigo."

Ichigo fell face first on his bed and mumbled the answer.

"_**What?"**_

'_I'M SCARED OF CLOWNS OKAY?'_

There was a moment of silence before loud laughter echoed in Ichigo's mind. Ichigo pouted as he sat in a corner of his room.

"_**Oh this is rich! The mighty King is terrified of CLOWNS!"**_

"It's not my fault…"

"_**Ooh! I can't wait to here the reason behind this! What, did Ichii watch a scary movie when he was little?"**_

"Shut up!" Ichigo roared.

Inside the mindscape the city started to get hit by a storm with the strength of a category five hurricane. Zangetsu gripped a light post he was standing on for dear life while Hichigo was blown around like a plastic bag in the wind until he grabbed a flag pole for dear life.

"Now you've done it. You know we've gone a week with out even a sprinkle?"

"_**Why is King so scared of clowns?" **_Hichigo asked the older spirit.

"Hmm…I think it's time we went to the museum."

"_**What-?"**_

"It's where all of Ichigo's memories are."

"_**Oh...ok…"**_

The two navigated through the storm until they reached the museum. It took them awhile but they finally found why Ichigo was scared of clowns. It turned out when he was four his father hid in his closet as a clown on Halloween then jumped out and scared the daylights out of Ichigo. They sweat dropped at the memory when Ichigo's mother Masaki came running in with a frying pan and knocking Isshin out of the window. Isshin tried to get back in only to be kicked in the nether region by his wife until she realized that it was him.

By then though the damage had been done and Ichigo had freak out attacks every time he saw a clown.

After the memory ended Hichigo and Zangetsu began to plot revenge for their master.

* * *

><p>Later<p>

Isshin returned with the girls and found Ichigo lying face down on the sofa. He grinned as he snuck over to wake him up only to be thrown. Ichigo stood up and began walking like a zombie. When he opened his eyes they were a sickly yellow.

"Hello...Billy Goat."

Ichigo sat in his mindscape wondering why Zangetsu called him in. Apparently to plant a rooftop garden?

"Uh…should I know something Zangetsu?"

"No.


	13. Makeovers?

Ch. 13 Makeover?

9foxgrl

This was inspired by deltawaves

"I am Tensa Zangetsu."

Ichigo stared at the being before him. It was a young Zangetsu, behind him was a fully Hollowfied Hichigo.

"_**What's the matter King? Weren't expecting us?"**_

After a few minutes of starring Hichigo gently nudged the side of Ichigo's head.

"_**You still with us King?"**_

Ichigo blinked once.

Twice.

Three times.

Ichigo then walked up and poked at them. Both beings looked very confused.

He just shuddered when he realized that they were real, and were not just a hallucination brought on by a psychotic break. Then again they never seemed normal right?

Then again his mind wasn't normal either. After all it was a city that define the Laws of Physics.

He shook his head then started to leave.

"I don't care if you guys got makeovers…Man I knew there was something screwy with you two."

He left, not even noticing the shocked looks on the two spirits.

A/N: Short I know. Sorry. But this was the first thing that popped in my head. If you suggest a word or phrase I'll see if I can work it in a one shot.


	14. Gender Swap

Ch. 14 Gender Swap

9foxgrl

Inspired by **deltawaves**

* * *

><p>Ichigo returned to his mindscape after a long day of school. First there had been a Hollow attack at three in the morning. Kon waking him up at four. He promptly threw the stuffed animal into the hall and went back to bed. Then Rukia showed up to get a Chappy comic that she had left in the closet.<p>

At school he could barely stay away. His teacher whacked him upside the head for falling asleep in Math class.

So not here he was. Exhausted, but couldn't sleep. Remembering he lived above a clinic he snuck downstairs and grabbed a bottle of sleeping pills. Swallowing two of them he fell asleep, just barely hitting the bed.

Ichigo blinked. He was speechless.

There in front of him was a female Hichigo!She looked like the albino, but had a build like Tatsuki. Instead of his/her normal shuhaksho Hichigo was wearing a kimono. Hichigo's hair was long and braided he/she sat properly on the building fanning herself.

"_**Hi King. Lovely day isn't it?"**_

Ichigo nodded and slowly backed away but hit something.

He turned and nearly screamed.

Zangetsu had turned into a woman too! He/She had that aged looked like Unohana but with wavy black hair and wearing a black Victorian dress complete with parasol.

"Ichigo…are you alright?"

Ichigo nodded. He started to laugh.

"Of course I'm okay! Why wouldn't I be? Everything is sunshine and rainbows!"

**_"That't nice King."_** Hichigo giggled.

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF TACOS! I'VE FINALLY LOST IT! THERE MUST BE A GAS LEAK IN HERE! FIRST THE BUNNIES, THE VIDEO GAMES! OH MAN!"

Ichigo ran to the edge of the building where he jumped off and woke up in the real world. He grabbed the bottle of sleeping pills and flushed them down the toilet. He then returned to his room afraid to fall back asleep.

The two spirits chuckled then turned back to normal.

"_**So, think we paid him back for last night's rain shower?"**_

"Oh yes. And then some!


	15. When Life gives you Lemons

Ch. 15 - When life gives you lemons

9foxgrl

'_When life gives you lemons you make lemonade…what does this statement mean?' _Ichigo mumbled as he read the questions to the assignment.

"_**What the hell does that mean?"**_

"It means; work with whatever life throws at you."

"_**Really? That's what it means?**_**" **

'_That's what everyone says.'_

"_**That's when I say, 'If life gives you lemons you say screw the lemons, cut them open and throw them at your enemies. "**_

"Then laugh as they scream when the lemon juice gets in their eyes."

"_**Yup."**_


	16. Scythe

Ch. 16 - Scythe

9foxgrl

Inspired by** mist shadow**

"So Zangetsu, I have a question to ask."

"Yes?"

"Can I get a scythe for my bankai?"

"…What?"

"Come on? A scythe? DO you know how badass that would be! With a cloak or a hood I could look like a Grim Reaper from all the movies! We could scare the Hell out of the Hollows and the living!"

"…"

"Please Zangetsu?"

Zangetsu turned into the sword form we are all familiar with.

"You get a sword. Deal with it."


	17. Arachnophobia

Ch.17 Arachnophobia

9foxgrl

Inspired by _Juandrie_

"I got a new pet~!" Yachiru cheered.

"What is it?"

"A big spider!"

"Spider?" Rukia replied as Yachiru opened the box. Out crawled a spider the size of a Chihuahua.

"Hey what's up?" Ichigo said as he entered the building.

"Ichii! Look at my new pet!"

Ichigo took one look at the spider and screamed murder. He leapt through the roof of sixth division and ran out of the Seretei back to Karakura. Rukia later found him cowering under his bed clutching a baseball bat in one hand and a lighter in the other.

"Ichigo?"

"Spiders…they're everywhere….they want to eat my brain!" Ichigo whimpered.

After much effort Rukia dragged him back to the Seretei. Renji laughed as Ichigo entered clutching a baseball bat.

"Ichigo?"

Byakuya came in looking annoyed and paler then normal.

"Nii-sama, are you alright?"

"Yachiru…has released a box of spiders in the hall."

"THEY'RE GOING TO EAT MY BRAINS!" Ichigo screamed as he ran through a wall.

Byakuya took one look at the scene and walked over to a hidden compartment and took out a bottle of sake. He walked out following Ichigo.

"I'll be back later. Abarai, finish the reports."

An hour later Byakuya found Ichigo near where the Sokyokyu had once stood. He passed him the sake.

"You read the book too?" Byakuya asked as he took a swig.

Ichigo nodded. "I should have never let Hichigo convince me to read it for my school assignment…"

"_**Don't blame me King. It was either that or Huck Finn."**_

"Technically you bullied him into it."

"What about you?"

Byakuya shuddered. "Abarai gave it too me as a gift."

A large spider, Yachiru's pet landed between them and began to drink all the sake growing larger and larger until it was their size. The men took one look before shunpoing away screaming bloody murders.

_A/N: The book they refer to is loosely based off of the actual book __War with the Mutant Spiders by Edward Packard__ I haven't read it, but it involves mutant spiders._


	18. Battle Plan

Ch. 18 Battle Plan

9foxgrl

"We got a battle plan for rescuing Orihime."

"We?" Kisuke asked.

"Me, Zangetsu and Hichigo."

"_**Yup!"**_

"It took us all night! But it will work!"

"Okay what's the plan?"

"Step 1. Infiltrate Hueco Muendo and find Orihime."

"Sounds simple enough."

"Step 2. Kill as many underlings and or Espada as possible with Hichigo as our back up plan. After a month of training Zangetsu and I know he's at least the level of an Arrancar. Relax Rukia, he already consented to it and will not attack us unless you piss him off."

"Hopefully that will not happen."

"_**Hell yeah!" **_

"Step 3. Save Orihime. And finally there is Step 4."

"Step 4?"

"Denote a bomb the three of us built in Aizen's hideout right before we leave." Ichigo said revealing a small box that he had secured in a satchel. "It's filled with a month's worth of reishi and can blow Japan off the face of the world if it as in the wrong hands. It has about a five minute limit after my reishi leaves it that it will blow up."

The rescue group face faulted. Ichigo looked smug.

"Alright, Operation Doomsday is a go!" Ichigo roared as he ran into the gateway to Hueco Mundeo leaving several members of the rescue team shaking in fear.


	19. Shut Up

Ch. 19 Shut Up

9foxgrl

**WARNING THIS IS NOT CANNON. IT IS THE RESULT OF MY BRAIN ON A SERIOUS CAFFEINE WITHDRAW.**

"_**Why are we here King? It's the weekend, I want to watch cartoons with your sisters." **_Hichigo moaned. .

'_I got suckered into a meeting with these guys cause of Aizen running off to Hueco Mundeo. They want me as part of the battle '_

"_Isn't that a lot of pressure to put on a teenager?"_

'_Tell me about it. Hichigo behave.'_

"_**Alright, I will behave, but please let me kill a few of those Hollows when it comes time to fight."**_

'_Deal.'_

"You all know why you are here. The time has come for us to launch a full scale attack on Aizen."

"What? Are you going to bring him back alive?" cried out a hopeful voice.

"Lieutenant Hinamori, why are you in here?" asked Yamamoto.

" To be part of Captain Aizen's rescue!" Hinamori cried.

"Rescue? You stupid girl, he is a criminal!" Mayuri yelled.

"No he isn't!" she wailed as Toshiro tried to escort her out. "Let go of me Toshiro!"

"**King Shut her up please!"**

'_I would but Toshiro would turn me into a popsicle.'_

"Lieutenant Hinamori, you are still technically under house arrest and confined to a bed in my squad!" Unohana sighed. "You shouldn't even have your zanpaktou back yet!"

"Well I had to get out of there! Your seventh seat was spreading lies about Captain Aizen!"

"You attacked Hanatarou?" Ichigo asked.

"_**What? No way! I wanted to bully the pansy today!"**_

"He's fine! Not like Captain Aizen though-"

Finally Hichigo took over, allowing only his eye color to take effect.

"_**LISTEN CLOSELY YOU B*** BECAUSE I'M ONLY GOING TO SAY THIS ONCE. AND YOU RUNT SHUT THE HELL UP AND PUT YOU SWORD DOWN BECAUSE SHE NEEDS A STERN TALKING TOO!" **_Hichigo yelled as he dragged Hinamori away from Toshiro to a chair and forced her to sit down.

"Let me go! We need a plan to go and save Captain Aizen!"

SMACK!

* * *

><p>Ichigo watched the events occurring on a TV with Zangetsu. So far Hichigo had tried to talk some sense into Hinamori only to have her start ranting and have Hichigo pimp slap her.<p>

"This is going to be some good TV." Ichigo commented. "Pass the popcorn Zangetsu."

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>Alright! Listen now! If don't shut the hell up and understand that you have a seriously disturbed mind."<strong>_

"I do not!"

"_**Yes you do! He faked his death, manipulated you into attacking your allies, public denounced everything you fight for, he tried to kill the runt over there who is quite possibly the only person left who is your friend and you!" **_

"Liar! The only terrible person here is you Ryoka!"

Hichigo twitched.

"_**Shut up. You are not here to say anything. You are here to listen!"**_

"Why should I listen to you Ryoka scum?"

Finally Hichigo lost it and let his mask partially form over Ichigo's face. The assembled Shinigami reached for their zanpaktous but Hichigo filled the room with malicious spiritual pressure.

"_Hichigo…"_

'_**Sorry King, but this brat needs to be put in her place!'**_

"_I second the motion!"_

"_Zangetsu!"_

"_What,? She is annoying as Hell!"_

"_Okay, I can't argue with that."_

"_**Alright! Listen all of ya! I'm all the anger and hate Ichigo has repressed in a lifetime! Yes I am a damn Hollow and proud of it. Me and King are two separate minds. Try to kill King and I will go Bankai on you bastards. Shut up you clown, no will NOT get to use me as an experiment!"**_

The group gulped and sighed in relief as the malicious spirit pressure lowered and Hichigo turned his attention back to Hinamori.

"_**Now listen brat-"**_

"I WILL NOT LISTEN TO A DAMN HOLLOW! FOR ALL I KNOW YOU COULD BE THE REAL PERSON THAT TRICKED CAPTAIN AIZEN INTO BETRAYING US!"

The malicious spirit pressure rose up so high Hinamori began to choke on it her own breath.

"_**If you say that name one more time I am taking King's body to Hueco Mundeo AND SLAUGHTER YOUR **__**PRECIOUS **__**AIZEN HIS HENTCHMEN AND BRING YOU BACK HIS HEAD AS A DAMN TROPHY!"**_

"I'll help." Zaraki and Toshiro said in unison. Toshiro wanted Aizen's frozen head on a platter, while Zaraki just wanted to go and fight.

Hichigo then released the control and let Ichigo back out. He took a look around and released the pressure Hichigo had left. He left the room in a relaxed manner.

"I don't know what Hichigo did to make her quiet, but his threat still stand. Oh and Hichigo says he tell you two if '_Operation Armageddon' goes into effect."_


	20. Costume

Ch. 20 Costume

9foxgrl

Inspired by Mist Shadow

_**"No fair Zanny, why does Ichigo get all the attention?" **_

"I don't know. Lets just be happy that he's even letting us have a Halloween party after what happened on the Fourth of July."

_**"Why Frankestein of all things? Couldn't he be something scarier?"**_

"Hichigo...what are you?"

_**"I'm a vampire! Count Dracula!"**_ Hichigo laughed as he spun in his cloak.

"But...you aren't sparkling." Zangetsu pointed out.

_**"REAL VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLE!"**_


	21. Holy Mother

Ch.21 Holy Mother

9foxgrl

Inspired by deltawaves

It was one of those rare night that teenager Ichigo Kurosaki got to spend at home catching up on his homework. No Hollows, Rukia was off in the Soul Society,and Kon was somewhere hiding from Yuzu. Ah yes a good night.

But as well all know, all good things must come to an end.

_**"KING!"**_

Ichigo fell out of his chair at the Hollow's shriek.

_'What?'_

_**"You need to come in here! We have a problem! Zanny has gone on the crazy train!"**_

_'Please it can't be that bad.'_

_**"See this for yourself!"**_

Ichigo sighed and entered his mindscape. The second he landed Hichigo appeared and dragged him off to a white chapel.

"A church? What's so bad about that? I didn't know you guys were religious."

_**"Just wait."**_

The two entered and Ichigo nearly died at the entrance. It looked like a traditonal Christian church except on the alter stood a white marble statute of Rukia's zanpaktou Sode no Shirayuki. On the walls were icons to the sword and a candle lit to the Saint Chappy and Sait Rukia.

Ichigo was about to destroy it when Zangetsu appeared.

"Ah Ichigo, have you come to pay atonement to the Holy Mother?"

Ichigo looked as his sword then at Hichigo before jumping back to reality. He ran to Urahara's and borrowed a phone to call Rukia in the Soul Society. (In other words he nearly broke Urahara's arm for it.)

"Hello Kuchki Manor."

"Hello, this is Ichigo Kurosaki, can I please speak to Rukia?"

"One moment."

"Rukia speaking."

"Rukia...TELL YOUR ZANPAKTOU TO STOP MAKING ZANGETSU WORSHIP HER!"


	22. In a Name

Ch. 22 In a Name

9foxgrl

It had been a few days after stopping Rukia's execution and their return home. Ichigo could hear Zangetsu more clearly now. Unfortunetly he could also hear his inner Hollow more clearly.

After a few nights and school days of the Hollow's whining and cursing Ichigo decided it was time for an intervention. After induldging in his father medical books and a few psychology ones he borrowed from the local library he felt confident enough to begin his plan.

"Oy! Zangetsu! Hollow where are ya?"

"Third rooftop on your left Ichigo." Zangetsu calmly replied.

Ichigo found them sitting on the building playing a game of Shogi. The Hollow was obviously winning.

_**"What do you want King?"**_ the Hollow asked bitterly as he claimed another one of Zangetsu's pieces.

"I've come to make peace with you two. What are your demands?"

_**"Acknowledgement!"**_

"Respect."

_**"Control!"**_

"Trees!"

"Trees?" the duplicates said in unison starring at Zangetsu who shrugged.

"It would be a nice change of scenary. Nothing fancy, maybe a small park?"

Ichigo nodded. "That I can probably do..."

He focused on the image of a small forest. The mindscape shook for a moment before one of the buildings behind them dissolved into a large redwood that Ichigo had seen on TV. Zangetsu took one look and began to explore the tree finding a small cottage nestled in the branches, a hidden waterfall, and a hammock.

"I DECLARE THIS MY DOMAIN! SO STAY OUT IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!" Zangetsu yelled.

"Did I just turn a building into a tree?" Ichigo gawked.

_**"This word is wacky."**_ the Hollow commented. _**"If this is how screwed up your mind is...you must be screw up in ever sense of the word King."**_

"Before I forget. Do you even have a name?"

_**"No I don't. Why do you ask?"**_

"Because calling you Hollow all the time will get annoying. As your King I should at least give you a name...how about Hichigo Shirosaki? You're the exact opposite of me anyway."

The Hollow snorted_**. "That all the creativitivy you got King? I pity your future kids."**_

"Well I thought you would be happy with me treating you as an equal. Sorry." Ichigo said sarcastically as he left.

Hichigo snorted. _**"Maybe you're not that bad a King after all."**_


	23. Vasto Lorde

Ch. 23 Vasto Lorde

9foxgrl

"So you sensed me dying...and turned into a Vasto Lorde?"

_**"Yep, and I must say, I like this new form a lot better."**_ Hichigo laughed as he starred at his reflection.

It had been a week since they battle Ulquiorra and returned home. Ichigo had been unconcious the entire time and spent the week in his mindscape annoying Hichigo and gardening with Zangetsu.

Ichigo looked at Hichigo and suddenly started laughing.

_**"What?"**_

"I just realized something!"

_**"That you have a messed up mind?"**_

"I thought that we established that years ago. No, I realized that when I die we will probably end up seperate beings."

_**"And~?"**_

"And I will go to the Soul Society, and probably become a Captain of some squad. You will obvious go to Hueco Mundo as a Vasto Lorde. Do you see where I'm going here?"

Hichigo nodded.

_**"Either way we can't lose. Hell I could become the King of the Hueco Mundo."**_

"If you do, we could have occasionally sparring matches."

_**"Forget that. I'm turning Los Noches into my own Las Vegas!"**_


	24. Dane Cook

Ch. 24 Dane Cook

9foxgrl

_**"Am I the only one here who loves to watch a couple fight?"**_

"..."

_**"Two weeks in they are like ...Gah! I can't take it anymore. Oh well I'll hang on four more years then we can settle it violently. The best couple fight have to be between King and that rabbit loving midget!"**_

Zangetsu is falling down in stitches. Laughing like a madman.

"..."

_**"I just loving fights about nothing!"**_

"..."

_**"I mean we always fight who gets to control the body. But the best nothing fight we had here was the fight over King getting a mocha latte before school."**_

"That was hilarious!"

_**"I mean. I wanted one with an extra shot of expresso but King didn't! I was about to take control and sacrife his to the coffee gods!"**_

_'NO MORE DANE COOK FOR YOU!'_

Suddenly Orihime appeared behind him on the walk home.

"Hey! Ichigo! Mr. Urahara got us tickets to see Dane Cook tonight!" she cheered.

"DAMN IT TO HELL!" Ichigo yelled.


	25. Nightmare Before Christmas

Ch. 25 Nightmare Before Christmas

9foxgrl

_**"King."**_

Ichigo grunted to acknowledge the Hollow.

_**"What are you doing to that tree?"**_

_'What does it look like?'_

_**"Attacking it with shiny balls."**_

Ichigo sighed. He forgot that his Hollow didn't know about Christmas."

_'We're decorating it. It's a Christmas tree. It's tradition.'_

_**"Ooh...can we decorate one too?"**_

_'Sure decorate Zangetsu's tree fort.'_

"NOT IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!" Zangetsu bellowed from his fort. He was armed with water balloons and rubber bands.

_'Guys, I would prefer we didn't repeat the Thanksgiving Rubber Band war or the Fourth of July Accident..'_

_**"Yeah...nothing says 'Thanks' like being in a coma during the holidays. "**_

_'And I would not like to repeat that again.'_ Ichigo said mentally as he lifted Yuzu so she could put the angel on the tree. _'But if you want a Christmas tree so badly...'_

_**"Yay!"**_

"What do we decorate with?"

Ichigo concentrated and made several boxes of ornaments appear.

A FEW HOURS LATER during dinner (~o.O**~O.O~**O.o~)

_**"KING! GET IN HERE! THERE IS A MONSTER TRYING TO KILL US!"**_

"It's every where!"

_'Impossible...'_

_**"It's sparkles...AND IT'S A GIANT SNAKE!"**_

"IT'S IN MY TREE!"

_'3...2...1...'_

"BANKAI!" shouted two voices

"Crap..." Ichigo said aloud before collapsing.

LATER...

"YOU KNOCK ME OUT FOR A TINSEL WAR?"


	26. Work Together

Ch. 26 - Work Together

9foxgrl

**"I can't believe that Zanny backstabbed us!"**

"We have to remember that it was because of that rogue zanpaktou Muramusa!"

**"King...you know what this means right?"**

"Yeh..."

"We work together!" the twin spirits said together.

Ichigo released a burst of his spirit energy mixed with Hichigo's. It shimmered with silver and onyx aura, their empty zanpaktou howled in furry. It wasn't that of a Hollow, or a Shinigami. Human or Demon. It was just raw power.

All over the Seretei shinigami and their zanpaktou alike stoppped and shuddered at the power.

Finally the power condensed and stablized. Zangetsu appeared behind his wielder and hugged him.

"Who would have guessed that all it would take was me pretending to betray you guys to get you to work together? If that's all it took I should have done it a long time ago!"

The twin spirits looked at each other, then hit the 'rogue' spirit. Hichigo adding his kick to Ichigo's.

**"Zanny...that was just mean."**

"You know you sunk low when a Hollow feels hurt."

**"Sadly...this is the truth."**


	27. Shinigami Substitute Teachers pt 3

Ch. 27-Shinigami Substitute Teacher pt. 3

9foxgrl

Kenpachi - P.E.

"Move it you pansies! we still got a mile left!" kenpachi yelled as he lead his class in a 10 mile run.

"This...can't be...legal!" Keigo panted as he ran.

"It is to him." Chad said as he ran by. Chad was beside him as they crossed the finish line.

Kenpachi stopped and tsked at the sign of his class collapsing.

"What? Our warm up too hard?"

"That was a warm up?" a squeaky voice asked.

"Is this guy a marine?"

"Time to move on to the main event!" Kenpachi yelled as he tossed around bamboo practice swords.

"Kami save us." the class whimpered.

Health - Unohana

Ichigo was twitching as he sat int he class. Since he decided to follow in his father's footsteps and be a doctor he had to take the class. But the substitute teacher was...scary.

Sandwitched between Tatsuki and Orihime, Ichigo did his best to pay attention on the work assignment. Labeling the organs in the pig they had been dissecting prior. Unohana seemed to be enjoying herself as she explained to the group next to them on how to perform a vasectamy on the male pig they were working on.

_**"King...she scares me."**_

_'I know...she's the scariest woman alive.'_

"Kukaku Shiba brings a close second."

'Yup.'

"Are you almost done Kurosaki-san?" Unohana asked making him jump. She had snuck up right behind him.

"Yup! Almost!" Ichigo said trying not to sound panicky.

_**"Bless my Hollow Heart! I swore I saw the afterlife!"**_

"You mean Hueco Mundo?"

_'How do you even have a heart? Don't you have a hole?'_

_**"That's cruel King!"**_

"Five minutes left!"

Ichigo panicked and finished labeling his diagram.


	28. School Play

Ch. 28 School Play

9foxgrl

**Inspired by fujiwarakoharu **

"This is Urahara's doing! I just know it!" Ichigo roared as his class was handed out the script and roles for the annual play that the seniors put on during the school festival.

"Oh come on Ichigo, you get the lead." Keigo proclaimed.

"Yeah a bipolar sociopathic scientist! Who in their right mind would think that I suit that role?"

Uryuu gently pushed up his glasses. "Everyone who agrees raise your hand."

The entire class minus Ichigo raised their hands.

"Oy!"

Ichigo inwardly smirked. _'Well...if they think I fit it so well...Hichigo...you want to be famous?'_

_**"Screen time? Hell yea!"**_

The Night of the Play

Ichigo walked onto the stage dressed in a classic black suit. He took off the top he was wearing and tossed it onto a hat rack. He walked up to a bubbling set of beakers on a table.

"At last, the time has come. My elixir is finally complete." Ichigo proudly proclaimed. He took a beaker and pour some of it's contents into a distiller. He waited until it filled a small vial and downed it.

There was smoke and silence. The smoke faded away. Ichigo stood there looking down. For a moment everyone though he had forgotten his lines. Then a small laugh escaped the boys' lips.

The laughter grew and sound more and more insane. Ichigo looked at the audience before im. His eyes were those of Hichigo.

_**"At last! I feel the power! This country shall feel my wrath!"**_ Hichigo proclaimed. _**"Behold! The birth of Mr. Hyde!"**_

The last two performances of the night were quickly sold out. But only half of the audience ever stayed long enough to see the end. The other half was much to scared after the first act.

* * *

><p>A week later Ichigo recieved a call to star in a horror movie as a psychopathic killer. He accepted immedietly and won an award for best psychotic laughter.<p> 


	29. Birthday pt 1

Ch. 29 Birthday pt. 1

9foxgrl

Inspired by TheSecondQuincy 

"_**Hey King."**_

'_Yeah?'_

"_**What were you celebrating with your sisters just now?"**_

'_Eh? It' was their birthday today.'_

"_**Oh….King?"**_

'_Eh?'_

"_**What's a birthday?"**_

'_Hold on Dad is calling me to light the candles. Can you explain Zangetsu?'_

"Not a problem."

Hichigo sat before the wise zanpaktou, waiting for his lesson.

"A birthday is the celebration of one's birth Hichigo. Some people like to celebrate it by throwing a party with their friends. With cake, balloons, and occasionally presents. Sometimes their friends like to plan it for them and surprise them. Like Ichigo and his father did for Karin and Yuzu."

"_**Okay, that explains all the snot faced brats here and the mini captain. What about the candles? What are they for?"**_

"Each one is for every year they lived. Since Yuzu and Karin are twins they have the same amount of candles."

"_**Oh." **_Hichigo said now understanding. Suddenly he had an idea._** "When's King's birthday?"**_

"July 15th, why?"  
>Hichigo made a giant calendar manifest on the building they were sitting on. <em><strong>"And today is May 6<strong>__**th**__** so….Zanny, we are going to throw Ichigo the best birthday ever!"**_

At the party Ichigo shuddered.

'_Why do I suddenly have a bad feeling?'_

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

**A/N: 100 Reviews? Awesome! Thanks for all the reviews. Don't forget I still take requests for one shots.**


	30. Shinigami Substitute Teachers pt 4

Ch. 30 Shinigami substitute Teacher pt. 4

9foxgrl

Chemistry- Urahara

"Welcome young learners." Urahara said as he welcomed his students. "I'm Kisuke Urahara, your substitute!"

"Sir? Can I ask what qualifies you to be our teacher?" Ryo asked. "Do you have a degree in Chemistry or something?"

Urahara took out a fan and waved it in front of his face. "Don't worry! We're not doing anything extravagant."

Ichigo suddenly had a chill go down his spine. Urahara was smiling, that was a bad sign.

_**"THE APOCOLYPSE HAS COME! HUG YOUR CHILDREN GOODBYE! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" **_Hichigo and Zangetsu yelled hugging each other.

_'I doubt it's going to be that bad...but if he asks for a volunteer I want you two to knock me unconcious.'_

_**"Yes Sir!"**_ the two yelled saluting their boss.

"Today...we are going you are going to study the principes of the element Helium in action." Urahara said as he took out a small canister of Helium, a ballon, a lighter, and several other gizmos.

Ichigo blanched.

_'I'm going to die today...'_

Advanced Biology - Mayuri

Uryuu slipped into his class hoping not to be spotted by the subsititute teacher. He now wished that he had taken up Ichigo's offer to get a sick note from his father. Hell he would take one from Ryuuken right now.

"Sit down class!"

Uryuu silently yelped and took a seat in the back near a window in case he needed a quick escape. He looked around for the source of the voice when he realized that it was in the corner behind him.

"My name is of no importance to you. We will be studying the delicate art of biology. The study of how everything lives and how it ticks."

Mayuri came out of the shadows. He was in a gigai that looked like him minus the white paint and other gizmos.

"Sir, what are we going to do?" asked a curious student.

"Dissections of course." Mayuri said with an evil smile.

Uryuu sank below his desk.

_'I'm going to die.'_ he thought.

* * *

><p>At the end of the week whent he teachers came back they found a majority of their students had either transferred or were mentally scared.<p> 


	31. Amnesia & Nightmares

Ch. 31 - Amnesia & Nightmares

9foxgrl

Inspired by Symbol of forever

Based on the game- Amnesia: The Dark Descent

Splish

Splish

Splash

_**"What in the Hell?" **_Hichigo said as he woke up in a flooded room. _**"How in the Hell did I get down here?"**_

He jumped up when he looked around. He was in a flooded cellar laying on a crate.

_**"Wait...this looks familiar...where have I seen this place before?"**_ Hichigo mused as he walked through the water.

Splash

Splash...growl

Hichigo turned. He say the water rippling as something invisible walked towards him. He finally figured out whyt he room looked so familar.

_**"Oh shit..."**_ he cursed. He tried to summon his sword ot use his hollow powers but found them inaccessible.

_**"HELP ME ZANNY!THE KAERNKS ARE AFTER ME!" **_Hichigo yelled as he jumped onto the nearest crate. He started chucking things at the invisible monster but it seemed to only irritate it.

_**"You're only suppose to hunt in the water!"**_ Hichigo yelled as he ran to the nearest exit. He opened it only to find a monster there waiting. A Gatherer.

* * *

><p><em><strong>"AAAHHHH!" <strong>_Hichigo yelled as he woke up.

"Hichigo! Shut up!" Zangetsu yelled throwing a pillow at the terrified Hollow.

_**"A gatherer killed me!"**_ Hichigo sobbed.

"That's what you get for playing all those video games! Now go to sleep!" Zangetsu yelled. He ignored the fact that Hichigo was now curled up in a ball crying.

* * *

><p>Outside Ichigo was sitting at his desk smirking.<p>

"Payback is a bitch eh Hichigo? Now you won't be giving me anymore nightmares. Get ready Zangetsu...you're next.."


	32. Mental Illness

Ch. 32 Mental Illness

9foxgrl

_**"Hey King. I gotta ask you something."**_

"What Hichigo?"

_**"You know you got a vareity of mental disorders."**_

"What in the Hell are you talking about."

Hichigo presented his host with a large tome.

_"Mental Illness and their Symptoms." _

_**"Yeah, according to this you got OCD, Bipolar, Multiple Personality Disorder, Paranoia."**_ Hichigo said reading as he flipped through the tome. _**"Depression, Mood swings..."**_

"I GET IT!" Ichigo yelled. He growled then smirked. "Hichigo...you just gave me an idea."

_**"Does this involve pranking all the Gotei?"**_

"In a way."

**_"Are we going to accuse them of having mental problems?"_**

"...Yes..."

* * *

><p>The next day several people in the Seretei were going insane, literally. Ichigo and Hichigo had left several notices on their desks about the disorders the book described that they had. Out of all of them only Kenpachi was satisfied with his. After all he would be the only one to like being called a sociopath.<p> 


	33. The Shrink

Ch. 33 The Shrink

9foxgrl

Inspired by Mist Shadow

"Why do I need a psychologic evaluation?"

"Because it's required of all Shinigami in the ranks." Isane explained as they walked the halls of the Fourth.

"But isn't that hypocritical? Almost everyone in the ranks is crazy. Look at Kenpachi or the entire Eleventh Division."

_**"You can say that again King."**_

_"Once again, I must sadly agree with Hichigo."_

"Even my zanpaktou agrees with me."

"Yes I know. If were up to me Kenpachi would be to unfit to be a captian, but we have to work with what we got." Isane explained. She pointed him into a room where a mousy man was sitting. "Please go in."

A few minutes later...

"So how do you feel Kurosaki-san?"

"How should I know? You're the guy who wants to find out if I have a screw loose."

"Yes. So, do you think you are insane?"

"No...Well actually, I'm not sure if i have schizophrenia, DID, MPD, OCD, sociopath tendencies and/or hallucinations. after all, who in their proper mind sees ghosts, can kick them and have voices in their heads that can actually materialize, in full 'can kick and stab' mode or simply take over the body and start cutting while cackling maniacally?" Ichigo joked.

Inside Hichigo was rolling around with laughter.

After a few more minutes Ichigo left and the man placed a note in his file.

_Insanity level 2_

The man considered this a record. The only other person with an insanity score this low was Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya.


	34. Birthday pt 2

Ch. 34 Birthday

pt. 2

9foxgrl

Hichigo snickered in anticipation as he took Ichigo's body for an errand. Luckily for him Ichigo was such a deep sleeper. The party, which he planned, was going to be in the training grounds under Urahara's store. With the help of Ichigo's friends and some of the shinigami the party was set for the day. An all day event, it was going to be insane. All he had to do was to check on things. Like the tempoary gigai that he would be using.

He entered and smirked at all the decorations. The room was huge and they were going to need it. A lot of people were coming. It had taken two months of planning and arguing but the party was set. Torches were set up all around, large tables and grills to cook. A ton of balloons, luckily Rukia had enough hot air to fill them all up.

Orihime had made all the invitations and sent them to everyone they knew, even the Vizards and some of the living Arrancar. It was a shock when Grimmjow and Ulquiorra,who were living in Tokyo in gigais (curtesy of Urahara) studying Politics and Sociology (ironic? No.), agreed to come so Urahara had to put in a reshi buffer to make sure no one went nuts.

Yourichi, Tessai, and some of the Shinigami were bringing the food and drink, and of course booze for the older crowd.

Chad and Uryuu had helped to set up the decorations. They got Keigo involved with coming up with events. After all, who knows how to party better then that guy? Ichigo's family found out about the party from Hichigo and promised to keep it secret.

_**"So is everything ready?" **_Hichigo asked as he picked up his gigai.

"Yup. Can't wait to see his face." Urahara laughed as he opened his fan.

* * *

><p><strong>JULY 15TH<strong>

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY KING!"

Ichigo screamed and fell out of bed. After all, if the guy who was supposed to be trapped in your head suddenly appeared looking like the albino version of you woke you up by shaking you awak, wouldn't you be freaking out?

"How...when...HOW DID YOU GET OUT!"

"I'm in a gigai. Relax, it's temporary." Hichigo said with a laugh. Zangetsu would materialize at the party to deliver a toast with Isshin. After all, this was Ichigo's 18th birthday.

"I'm going to murder Urahara with his own fan." Ichigo muttered as he picked himself up.

"Whatever. Get dress, we got places to be." Hichigo said throwing some clothes at him.

"Where are we going?"

"To Uraharas!"

"Great. I can kill him and get that out of the way."

Hichigo smirked. Oh what fun this would be.

* * *

><p><em><strong>To be continue...NOT!<strong>_

_**Just joking**_

* * *

><p>"So, we're here. Now what?"<p>

"Let's go down stairs."

"Why?"

"Just go before I shove you." Hichigo threatened.

"Fine."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Hichigo POV<strong>_

The room was dark and but we could see the ladder. We had both touched the ground when the lights came back on.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY ICHIGO!" a large crowd roared.

I laughed as King looked like he jumped out of his skin as he noticed the huge crowd of people. The reshi buffer was working, no one was dead yet. What was even more interesting was the fifteen layer cake in the back with a ladder with everyone's names and well wishes written on it in the icing. Had taken me, Chad, Unohana (she is scary) and Ururu, and Uryu all night to finish decorating. Luckily for all of use Orihime had her own specialty foods for herself and Rangiku.

"What...the..."

"Like it King. Planned it my self!" I said proudly. "With Zangetsu's help of course."

Ichigo looked at me like I was some kind of alien before he was dragged off by Yoruichi and Keigo. Man those two were scary together.

An hour later after alot of music, dancing, by the way Byakuya of all people won the breakdance competition against Ikkaku and Kenpachi. Damn! Those guys can move! We all stopped so Ichigo could blow out the candles. They were those tricker candles curtesy of the Shibas. When Ichigo relized this he threw them all in the air and let them explode into fireworks. We all 'oohed' and 'ahhhed' at the display.

After that Isshin made his speech then Zangetsu appeared and took a cup of cola from me.

_"Ichigo, it's been a honor to be your weapon so far. Despite all the insanity that I have to deal with from you and your Hollow there, I don't think that I could have gotten a better master. I wish you several more birthdays and fewer wars_!"

"Here! Here!" I yelled as I downed my cup.

The rest of the party was pretty eventful. The pink gumball Yachiru ate an entire layer of the cake all by herself. Ryuuken and Ulquiorra debated on a lot of sociological and psychological topics. We avoid them for the most part. When people starting leaving we were shell shocked to see Grimmjow and Soi Fon leave together holding hands.

"Guess you lost your number one fangirl Yoruichi." Urahara mused.

"As long as she's happy."

"About time...you could feel the sexual tension between them since they got here. They'll probably be busy the rest of the night in bed." Karin said making Ichigo and Isshin stare at her.

"Tatsuki...you and I need to have a talk about what you say around my little sisters." Ichigo deadpanned.

"What? All I did was give them the 'Talk'. It's less akward coming from a girl." Tatsuki reprimanded. "Yoruichi, Orihime, and Rukia helped."

I laughed as King threw a dark look at the girls then over to the other boys in his sisters age bracket, and ironically to the mini captain. I could tell King was going to kill, or at least maim them later. Byakuya nearly spat out his drink when he heard that Rukia helped in giving the girls the talk. I never seen pineapple boy run so fast.

"Next time tell me."

* * *

><p><em><strong>"So King. How did you like my gift to you?"<strong>_

_'Thanks Hichigo. I really appreciate it all.'_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Over 130 reviews? Wow! So popular for just a few drabbles. It makes me wonder what would happen if I wrote down ever odd thought that popped into my head? Oh well. At this rate this story will hit 200 before Ch. 40. Thanks everyone!**


	35. Hichigo Shirosaki ICIS

Ch. 35 Hichigo Shirosaki -ICIS

9foxgrl

**Inspired by TheSecondQuincy**

It was another dull night. Hichigo was bored. Zangetsu was who knows were and Ichigo was too busy studying to be bothered. He learned fast that if you tried to bug him when he was studying you would get your ass handed to you.

He missed his bunny Fluffy. He had disappeared a few weeks ago into the small park that was in the center of Ichigo's mind.

_**"Of course! I'll do it the old fashion way with some detective work!"**_ Hichigo said with a cheer_**. "Time to prove to King all those episodes of NCIS was worth it!"**_

Zangetsu was sitting on his favorite flagpole when the window to his left shattered open. He turned subtly to see Hchigo in a marine uniform with a what appeared to be a gun.

_**"FREEZE! ICIS!"**_

_"ICIS? What in the hell does that stand for?"_

_**"Ichigo Criminal Investive Services! I thought about KCIS but that would have been too hard to say while bustin down doors."**_

_"And windows apparently..."_

_**"Enough chit chat! WHERE'S FLUFFY!"**_Hichigo yelled doing his best Gibbs impression.

_"Who?"_

_**"You know who! My rabbit!" **_Hichigo said shoving a picture of the rabbit in Zangetsu's face. **_"RESPECT MAH AUTHORITY!"_**

_"The Hell if I know."_

_**"So...Your telling me that you didn`t make Fluffy run away?"**_

_"Of course! remember, my rabbit ran away too-"_

_**"DON`T LIE TO ME!" **_Hichigo yelled shaking the weapon.

"WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON!"

The two looked up to see a very pissed off Ichigo holding a Calculus book. The spirits had the same though go through their mind.

'Oh Shunpo.'

A few minutes later after getting their asses handed to them Hichigo and Zangetsu were sulking inside a building as a thunderstorm hit. Zangetsu was about to sit down when a low squeak got their attention. They easily moved a large box revealling their rabbits sitting in a large crate of carrots.

* * *

><p><em><strong>ICIS Case #00001 - The Missing Rabbits<strong>_

_**Case Agent: Hichigo Shirosaki**_

_**Fluffy and Umbra were found in a crate of carrots.**_

_**Case: Closed**_


	36. Toshiro & Meat

Ch. 36 Toshiro & Meat

9foxgrl

This is based off of Shinigami Diary ep. 320

"KUROSAKI!"

Ichigo ran like hell was after him. In a way it was. He had gone to a BBQ hosted by Urahara and offered to bring the meat they would be grilling. Of course he forgot that Toshiro was going to be attending. That alone was scary.

Toshiro Hitsugaya was carnivore. Many suspected it was due to the dragon inside him. Right now Ichigo was playing keep away with the box of meat and Toshiro.

"Come on Toshiro! Can't you wait for a damn minute? The meat needs to defrost!"

"Then let me!"

"No!"

_'Hichigo take over!' _Ichigo mentally screamed as he jumped and dodged the irrate captain.

_**"Are you crazy! I'm not suicidal!"**_ the Hollow yelled.

_"Just give him the box!"___Zangetsu yelled. _"Hyrorinmaru is agitated! You should know better then to get between a dragon and its meal!"_

Ichigo ran pass Grimmjow who had been invited by Soi Fon. "Oy! Grimmjow! Catch!"

The unsuspecting Arrancar took the box and looked at it in confusion until Toshiro pounced on him.

The lesson for the day. Don't get in the way of Toshiro's meat.


	37. South Park

Ch. 37 South Park

9foxgrl

_**Inspired by KuroXIII**_

Ichigo could not believe that Urahara had given Hichigo a gigai, or more importantly let the hollow have the gigai so that he could hang out with Ichigo's friends.

So far the Hollow had caused no problems. they got along well and was always seen with his skateboard. At home the girls had dubbed him Shiro-niisan.

"I feel like were those guys off South Park." Hichigo said one day as they hung out at Urahara's. "All we need is the snow."

"What?"

"Think about it Ichigo!I'm Cartman cuz I'm the coolest, you're Kyle cuz you're sane of mind.

"Yeah right."

"Uryuu is Stan and Renji is Kenny."

"What's South Park?" Renji asked. "And whose Kenny. You're not comparing me ot Captain Zaraki are you?"

Hichigo looked at him in shock. "You don't know what South Park is? Blasphemy!"

_Later..._

"No way I'm Kenny! He gets killed a lot!"

"...Kurosaki your Hollow is wierd." Uryuu muttered as Renji and Hichigo started to throw fists at each other.

"Tell me about it."

"So if you're Cartman that means you're a fat bastard!" Renji snarled pointing at Hichigo.

Hichigo smirked devilishly.

"Oh no."

"GETSUGA TENSHOU!"


	38. Random Stuff

Ch. 38 Random Stuff

9foxgrl

_**Inspired by Juandrie**_

Ichigo was going to go insane. He had to lay down the law between his Hollow and his Zanpaktou. For the last three hours they had fought and argued non stop in his mind.

Now he had enough and entered his mind furious.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE!" Ichigo yelled.

Tensa Zangetsu was present as was a fully Hollowfied Hichigo.

_'This was going to be bad.'_

"What happened?"

The two pointed to each other and started screaming.

"SHUT UP! GO TO YOUR ROOMS!"

"THAT'S THE PROBLEM!" the two shouted.

_"He stuffed by room full of stuffed animals!"_

_**"An he stuffed my with empty soda cans!"**_

_"He switch my mattress for a water bed, filled it will cola and mentos!"_

_**"Last week he threw a penny bomb in the room while I was sleeping!"**_

_"Only after you shoved a stack of National Geographic magazines in my room."_

"ENOUGH! JUST STAY OUT OF EACH OTHER'S ROOMS OR ELSE YOU WILL FACE THE FURY THAT ONLY KON HAS WITNESSED!"

_**"YES SIR!"**_ the two spirits yelled as Ichigo left.


	39. Fury

Ch. 39 Fury

9foxgrl

_**To: lucaslascan, TheSecondQuincy, mist shadow, Writing bunny and Bleached-Whale since you guys asked.**_

"Oi! You guys manifest!"

The two appeared looking bored.

_**"What King?"**_

_"What is the occasion Ichigo?"_

Ichigo grinned evily at them.

"Remember when I said that if you you pissed me off you would see the fury only Kon has witnessed?"

_**"Yeah."**_ Hichigo replied warily.

"Come in Ishida!"

Uryuu walked in carrying his sewing kit and several bolts of white and black cloth.

"Ah! Zangetsu, Hichigo. Your master has told me you desire some new clothing!"

The two spirits looked horrified. They tried to leave but Ichigo forced them to stay. A few minutes later they were dressed in British suits complete with lace handkerchiefs.


	40. GPS

Ch. 40 GPS

9foxgrl

**Inspired by Upsilon Four **

_**"King, I got the perfect idea for a present for that Kenpachi fellow**__**'**__**s birthday!"**_

"Uh...a map of the Seretei?"

_**"BETTER!"**_

"What? Of Japan?"

_**"A GPS!"**_

Ichigo blinked. "That...actually sounds smart...for once."

_**"Yeah! Wait what?"**_

"_Now where to find a GPS that gives directions of the Seretei?"_

Ichigo shuddered. "Time to visit Squad 12."

A few days later...

_"Turn right...__"_

SMASH!

"CAPTAIN ZARAKI!"

"…_in fifty kilometers!"_

CRASH!"

"Dammit Zaraki!" Mayuri yelled.

"It's official Nemu, that GPS is defective." Ichigo deadpanned as he and Squad 12's lieutenant sat on the tower watching the mayhem below.

"Strange, we built it according to Kisuke Urahara's specification."


	41. Journal Entry

Ch. 41- Journal Entry

9foxgrl

_**Inspired by lilyrosa143**_

Ichigo took out his journal and sighed. Unohana said that this would be good therapy for him. Therapy? Yeah right.

_Journal Entry Ah Who gives a crap? Who else is going to read this? _

_I feel like life is just crazy bat sh*t. I mean seriously. All my life I have been able to see things that arn't there, then I need to fight invisible monsters just to keep them from eating other invisible people. _

_Like its bad enough that I have a psycho midget living in my closet who keeps treating my house like a personal motel. _

**A/N: Yes people. 9foxgrl is still alive and writing, I've been working on other projects and working a lot of mornings. Thanks for all your reviews!**


	42. Nutella

Ch. 42 Nutella

9foxgrl

**Inspired by Upsilon Four**

_"What is this?"_

_**"What?"**_

_"It just...appeared out of no where..."_

_**"Nutella..."**_

_"It looks like chocolate."_

_**"Doesn't taste like it...I know chocolate. And this aint chocolate!" **_Hichigo said proudly wearing a paper crown with 'Cocoa King' written on it.

_"So what is it?"_

_**"It smells like that creamer stuff you like in your coffee."**_

_"Hazelnut?"_ Zangetsu yelped. He took the jar and ran away.

_"HA HA HA HA! IT'S MINE! MINE! ALL MINE!"_

_'Did Zangetsu just go round the bend again?'_

_**"Yes, yes he did."**_  
>AN: Keep the reviews coming people!


	43. Shiro & Zanny

Ch. 43 Shiro and Zanny

9foxgrl

Ichigo could not believe his eyes. He was in shock.

His inner Hollow was being chased by Zangetsu around his inner world. Both of them wield various weapons.

There were piles of TNT, harpoons, guns, hammers, large novelty hammers, knives of every shape and size. Large pink bunnies, muffin costumes, wands, wizards hats and robes.

Ichigo sighed and took the moment to write _**'Land of Crazy Ideas. STAY OUT!' **_in bold letters on the building.

"This is like watching that American show _'Tom and Jerry'." _Ichigo mused as his two inner spirits, or psychos as he now called them, aimed a cannon at each other.

_"3...2...1!"_

_**"FIRE!"**_

Ichigo sweatdropped as the two were flung across his spirit city.

"Maybe it wasn't a good thing to let them watch _'Family Guy'_ or better yet, I should stop watching Comedy Central."


	44. Rubber Band Wars

Ch. 44 Rubber Band War

9foxgrl

_**'So bored...can't bug King since he's in clas...huh? What's this? Office Max...ooh a computer...and..YEAH! THE WAR IS ON!'**_

_SPOING!_

_WHACK!_

_"GAH!"_

_SPOING! SPOING!_

_WHACK! WHACK!_

"_**VENGEANCE!"**_

_"You Kami forsaken Hollow! I am going to kill you!"_

Ichigo roared in anger making his entire class jump.

"Is there something wrong Kurosaki?"

"HEAD ACHE~!" Ichigo screamed.

He stormed up to the rooftop and entered his spirit plane ot find Hichigo and Zangetsu shooting rubber office supplies at each other. Ichigo maniefested a large cannon and shot them into sumbission.

"Shut the Hell up!"

A/n: 201 Reviews? Alright!


	45. Intervention

Ch. 45 Intervention

_Inspired by Star Trail and kuro XII_

Ichigo entered his inner plane, having dragged Toshiro and his zanpaktou Hyorinmaru with him. (They used an experiment of the 12 as payback for the GPS)

"Kurosaki..."

"Yeah?"

"Is that a Hollow version of you...palying chess with your zanpaktou?"

"Yep."

_**"Checkmate!"**_

_"DAMN! Best out of 5?"_

_**"Alright, one more then we play Texas Hold 'Em!."**_

"And...this is normal?" Hyorinmaru stated.

"Sort of, you can always comeback tomorrow, it's Taco Night." Ichigo said casually.

"Uh...okay...why ate we here?"

"Intervention, and I need to freeze them in place."

"And you can't do this because why-?"

"Two words. Tree fort."

"uh huh..."

"Plus Shiro has been calling you Shorty and Midget."

"WHAT!" the irritated captain yelled freezing the entire world including the two playing chess. He stormed up to Hichigo and kicked in hard in the neither region before leaving with a shocked Hyorinmaru.

_**"Was that really necessary?"**_Hichigo said in a high voice.

_"Even I think that was below the belt, no pun intended."_

"Well it was two birds with one stone. I'm not a therapist and I have no other way to really control you two from fighting in here."

_**"But we love fighting."**_

_"It is in our nature."_

"I'm serious you guys if you don't stop I will stop watching TV for a month and sick the Nyan Cat on you."

"That what?" the two residents said inquisitvely, shuddering as a sadistic grin that could terrify the Captian of Squad 11 himself, appeared on their Host's face.

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know."

And with that Ichigo left.

_"So what now?"_

_**"Snow cones?"**_


	46. Nyan Cat

Ch. 46 Nyan Cat

9foxgrl

_**"Uh...Zanny.."**_

_"What Hichigo?"_

_**"Am I seeing stuff again...or is that a cat with a poptart body?"**_

_"What?" _

The two cautiously approached the strange cat with their swords drawn.

_**"What...is this?"**_

"Nyan..." the cat meowed.

_"Nyan...is this..the Nyan cat Ichigo spoke of?"_

_**"Should...we kill it or eat it?"**_

_"Do you hear music?"_

"NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!" the cat started singing along to the beat.

_"Is it...singing?"_

"NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!"

The two jumped back as the Nyan cat jumped up and started running with a rainbow streak behind it.

"NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN! NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!

_"Holy...Hollow..."_

_**"MAKE IT STOP!"**_

"NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN! NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN! NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN! NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYNYAN!NYAN! NYAN! NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN! NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN! NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN! NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN! NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN! NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!AN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN! NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN! NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN! NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!NYAN! NYAN!"

_**"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! KILL IT! KILL IT!"**_


	47. Grim Reaper

Ch. 47 Grim Reaper

9foxgrl

"Kurosaki, Ichigo do you know why you were called here today?"

"Does it have something to do with the bishonen who escaped with the blind guy and fox face?"

Kyoraku busted out laughing.

"Who?"

"I think Kurosaki is refering to Aizen, Gin and Tosen." Toshiro explained.

"Yeah, them! The boy band rejects!" Ichigo exclaimed.

Zaraki joined Kyoraku who was rolling on the floor laughing.

"No, that is not why you are here. You were summoned here due to a grieveance in your world."

"If this has anything to do with the haunting at my high school I'm telling you now it was Renji and Rukia's idea to haunt the gym teacher!"

"No."

Ichigo gulped. "Well can you tell me what it is so I can go to the fallout shelter before they get wind I told you."

"We have a report from several newly passed spirits of a Shinigami appearing dressed in a ragged hooded cape wielding a large sycthe saying _'Your time has come._', care to explain?"

"That wasn't me, that was Zangetsu."

"What?"

"He was bored that day."


	48. Drawing

Ch. 48 Drawing

9foxgrl

Inspired by kuroXIII

It was a dreary rainy day in the Seretei. Ichigo and Hichigo were in the 6th Squad building bored out of their mind. Zangetsu opted to stay in the inner world saying _"At least it's not raining in here."_

_**"I'm bored..."**_ Hichigo moaned_**. "Can we go bug the weird robot dude?"**_

"No way! Last time we barely made it out alive! Besides he still wants our heads for giving Zaraki that GPS!"

_**"Not our fault it was broken."**_

"Why don't we draw or something?" Ichigo said getting some spare paper out from Renji's desk.

_**"Fine."**_

A Few Minutes later...

"What are you doing here Kurosaki?"

"We were suppose to meet Renji but he's running late."

"And what is he doing?"

_**"Draw. Draw. Draw."**_ Hichigo muttered as he focused on his work.

"What do you think?" Ichigo asked showing his portrait of Zangetsu standing on a tree branch.

"It's very abstract...your zanpaktou's manifestation form?"

"Yup. I'm big on abstract art."

_**"DONE!"**_ Hicihigo yelled showing them his.

Ichigo and Byakuya stared.

"I'm impressed..."

"Yeah...it's...life like."

"you should sell it to Zaraki...he will probably buy it."

"Agreed."

The next day the 11th squad had a painting hanging on it's wall that made people stop to stare at it. After all, it's not every day one sees a redition of _'Horsemen of the Apocalypse' _with the four strongest members included in the portrait.

* * *

><p>Extra:<p>

"Hey Ichigo, how did you get Hichigo to submitt to your will so easily?"

"Trade secret Renji."

Renji naturally turned and asked Hichigo who shuddered and whispered "Chibis..."


	49. Physics

Ch. 49 Physics

9foxgrl

_Inspired by Shirokonoji_

"Hichigo..."

_**"NO! NOT THE NYAN CAT!"**_

"Umm...okay...that was weird..listen you dumb Hollow I need your help with my homework."

_**"NO! Wait..oh homework okay. But just one condition."**_

"Sure."

_**"Keep the Nyan Cat out of here."**_

"Deal."

_**"So what's the question?"**_

"If the object moves at 10km/ph when dropped from 5cm onto a ramp, will the object continue moving after impacting with the ground?"

_**"Oh, the answer to that is easy."**_

"Really?"

**"The answer is; No, because an elephant was in the way."**

**A/N: We're getting close to 300 reviews! this is my most popular story. I must hit complete when we reach 100 drabbles. enjoy and review people!**


	50. Vacuum

Ch. 50 Vaccum

9foxgrl

**A/N: I remember seeing a picture of this on someone's fan-art LOL!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>"King I have a full proof plan against Grimmy!"<strong>_

"I probably shouldn't ask this but what?"

_**"One word: Vaccum."**_

"Uh...Zangetsu...any idea?"

_"Not a clue. Elaborate for us Hichigo..."_

_**"He's a cat!"**_

"And?"

_**"And cats hate vaccums!"**_

"...Okay..."

_"...where's my bottle of whiskey?"_


	51. Drunks

Ch. 51 Drunks

9foxgrl

Inspired by Kaitlyn

* * *

><p>Ichigo groaned as he woke up int he morning. He had a pounding headache and had no idea why. At breakfast he felt nauseated at the site of fried eggs.<p>

"If this is their fault I am going to kill them..." Ichigo groaned as he entered his inner world.

He land on a building and gawked at the mountain of liqour bottles stacked up around one of the towers. There was sake bottle, wine, beer, malt whiskey, rum, port, ever kind of alchoholic drink you could think of.

Ichigo paused at the fortess made entirely out of empty jugs of moonshine where he found Hichigo passed out. Zangetsu was nearby giggling and hiccuping in his sleep.

With a wave of his hand the world was cleared of alcohol. Ichigo left a sign on a nearby building and left. Whent he drunk duo woke up they found the sign.

_By order of Management_

_Alcohol is prohibited until I turn 20!_

_Ichigo_

_"__Well &(&^%!__"_

_**"You must be drunk Zanny...you swore."**_

_"And you stink!"_

_**"What do we do now?"**_

_"Coffee...and lots of it...what did we do last night?"_

__**_"How the F should I know?"_**

_"Because you look like a drag queen."_

_**"You're one to talk! You have a mokawk!"**_

___"^*%&%&()_*(&*(!"_

_**"We need coffee..."**_**_  
><em>**

_"Starbucks?"  
><em>

_**"yes...to the Coffee ISLAND!"**_

_"Not so loud!"_

_**"Uh Zanny..."**_

_"What?"_

_**"You know you got a tattoo on the back of your head?"**_

_"^*^% what's it of?"_

_**"Say 'Hail Ichigo'..."**_

_"%&^(&(&()"_

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: My apologizes for not updating lately. They raised the writing requirements for all majors. XP.**_


	52. Term Papers

Ch. 52 Term Papers

9foxgrl

Dedicated to all distgruntal students in the U.S and around the world!

TAP...TAP...CLICK. TAP. TAP. TAP...TAP...CLICK. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. Click.

_**"What's that noise?"**_

_"Ichigo is working on his senior term paper."_

_**"Why? Do those teachers really read them?"**_

_"I don't know."_

_**"Hey King! Lets go Hollow hunting!"**_

_'Can't I got five more pages to write.'_

_**"How long does it have to be?"**_

_'Ten pages minimum.'_

TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP.

_"What's your topic?"_

_'Feudal Japan.'_

_**"Then why don't you go ask Midget's brother if he has any books on the subject?"**_

TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP.

_'To busy. Besides, its on our Feudal Japan, not Byakuya's ideal world. Now do you mind? I got to finish on the role of the Shoguns.'_

Ten Minutes later

TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP.

_**"I am going to blow that computer up. All this taping is annoying!"**_

_"He needs that keyboard to write idiot."_

_**"I DON'T CARE! I WANT TO BLOW SOMTHING UP!"**_

TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP. TAP.

_**"ARGH!"**_


	53. Chapter 53

Ch. 53 Conditioner

9foxgrl

Inspired by Upsilon Four

_'Another normal day in the Ichigo's mind.'_ Hichigo though as he strolled around the building that was his home. If one looked up they would see a large sign that read 'Hichigo Palace'. It had taken him a few days of convincing Ichigo to mold his home into the shape of Cesaer's Palace in Las Vegas.

Hicigo strolled out onto his balcony with a cup of coffee in hand wondering what kind of mischief he could get into today. He could sing the the song that never ends again. Scratch that idea, last time Ichigo suck the Nyan cat on him.

He shuddered at the trauma that cat had inflicted on him.

He could paint another building. This one witha gangster theme to it. Nah Zanny would shoot him.

He had just taken a sip of his super sweet cofee when he saw Zangetsu come out of the tree fortress he called home.

Hicigo spat his coffee out in shock.

Zangetsu's normally shiny, well mosturizered, well conditoned curly ebony locks were limp and looked very dry.

_"Uh...morning Zanny..."_

_"Hichigo." _Zangetsu replied as he pour himself a cup of columbian blend coffee.

_**"What happened to your hair?"**_ Hichigo asked pointing at the sword's hair.

_"I am trying the all natural approach."_

_**"So...you haven't taken a shower?"**_

_"I bathed, but I planning on not using any chemicals in my hair. I read that there are traces of peroxide in shampoos and conditioners that damages your hair."_

_**"Okay..."**_

**Next Day**

Hichigo was working on his mecha shojo manga storyline when he saw Zangetsu. His hair was starting to look a little oily now.

**A few days later...**

After prompting Ichigo to market his manga idea for him under the name of Yuki Shirosaki. Hichigo decided to relax a bit when he was disturbed by a femine scream. It took him a moment to figure out the source.

_**"Zanny you okay?"**_

He found the sword standing with a brush in front of a very large mirror.

_"I HAVE SPLIT ENDS!"_ he wailed.

_**"Umm..good for you?"**_

The sword growled.

_**"Yeah...so...I'm going to run now! BYE!"**_

A/N: Please check out the poll on my page and vote for what story I should update next and don't forget to review!

Hichigo: or else she might lose interest and lock us away again. T.T


	54. Back

Ch. 54 I'm Back!

9foxgrl

_Inspired by Kaitlyn _

_**"So nice to be back!"**_ Hichigo laughed as he and Ichigo walked around the edge of the Kusajishi district._** "After being asleep for so long I can't wait to fight someone again! Let's go see if Baldy wants to fight!"**_

"Is that you care about Hichigo?"

Hichigo manifested and stretched his arms. _**"Because, it's been so boring an until you woke us back up Zanny was asleep too! I didn't have anyone to play with!"**_

"Hi Ichi! Hi Hi-Hi!"

Ichigo waved to the pink haired hyperactive brat. Hichigo cheered.

_**"YAY! PINKIE! GO GET BELL BOY SO WE CAN FIGHT!"**_

"Ok!"

There was a loud roar followed by Yachiru yelping. "SILLY HOLLOW! LET GO!"

"Oh crap!" Ichigo yelled as he chased after her to find her

_**"ALRIGHT! A CONTENDER!" **_Hichigo yelled.

The Hollow roared and was about to gobble up Yachiru when it was hit by a flying object. Yachiru dropped into Ichigo's arms. Hichigo whistled in aw as the Hollow died from it's head exploding.

"...Owned..." Ichigo said in awe.

"HEY! HEY! WHAT'S UP BITCHES?"

"Kenny!"

_**"Sweet! Let's fight Bell Boy!"**_ Hichigo yelled as he drew his sword and charged the laughing maniac.

"FINALLY! A WORTHY OPPONENT!"

"So...Yachiru...lets get some tea while they fight."

"Aww.. but I want to want Kenny and Hi-Hi fight!" pouted Yachiru.

BANG!

_**"BWAHAAA!"**_

"HA! HAA!"

"Don't you want candy?"

"Okay Ichi!"

* * *

><p>Ichigo: PLEASE VOTE ON 9FOXGRL'S POLL AND REVIEW FOLKS!<p>

Hichigo: _**Or I will haunt you!**_

Zangetsu: _This message has been brought to you by Kurosaki Entertainment. _


	55. Club

Ch. 55 Club

9foxgrl

Another fine day in the Seretei. Birds were chirping, Byakuya was ignoring Renji while working on his calligraphy. Kenpachi was somewhere looking for a fight, Mayuri was tinkering with his experiments. Yup, another normal day.

At the Fourth Ichigo was learning basics of medicine from Unohana who was please after she heard that Ichigo planned on becoming a paramedic, and then later on a pediatrician. She took immediately took the boy on as her pupil.

Ichigo was heading to the maternity ward with Isane when Hichigo spoke up.

"_**King, I need you to let me out."**_

"Huh? What for?"

"_**I, joined a club. Now do you mind, I'm going to be late for my meeting!" **_Hichigo yelled.

"Fine, just don't destroy anything on your way out." Ichigo muttered as he let Hichigo materialize. Isane squeaked as the Hollow used sonido to leave. Neither noticed his change of attire.

Hichigo didn't travel far for the meeting. Today's was being held in the ninth.

"Alright, now that President Shirosaki here, the Shinigami Men's Society meeting can come to order!" Iba announced.

"Alright!" the men cheered.

"_**First order of business, our first all female calendar. What's the status on those picture Omeada?"**_

"So far, so good. Who is a good candidate for Ms. July?"

"Rangiku." Hisagi and Kira announced.

"_**Can't, she's doing October. What about Nemu?"**_

"She volunteered for May."


	56. Fast & the Furious

Ch. 56 Fast & the Furious

9f0xgrl

"_**So, King, what's on the agenda today?"**_

"I'm going to take my test for my driver's license." Ichigo said as he walked to the department.

"_**Can I tag along in my human form?"**_

"Fine but you aren't driving!"

-Forty Minutes Later-

"Very Good, Kurosaki-san. It will take just a moment for your license to be printed…is your brother taking the test as well?"

Hichigo looked up at her. Driving didn't seem to look that hard. _**"Sure, if you have time."**_

"No! I mean, that's a bad idea sir, our Dad just sent me for today, he hasn't much practice!"

"Oh pish posh! There's nothing to it, come along." the instructor laughed.

Ichigo followed with a sense of dread.

"Now, sit in the driver's seat. Good, now turn on the car and gently push down on the brakes then shit into reverse."

"_**Like this?"**_

SCRRREEEECCCCCHHHHHHHHHH!

"I'll see you soon Mom." Ichigo whimpered as the car sped out of the parking lot.

-Five minutes later-

"AAHHH! WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" the instructor yelled as Hichigo drifted around a sharp turn.

Ichigo was in the back seat praying for Hichigo to slow down.

"Stop! It's a red light!"

Hichigo laughed as he sped up and narrowly avoided a large truck.

"_**THIS IS WAY COOLER THEN YOUR RACING GAMES!" Hichigo cheered as they did a donut in the police department parking lot. **_


	57. Halloween Horrors

Ch. 57 Halloween Horrors

9foxgrl

Inspired by mist shadow

It was Halloween time again and Hichigo was bored out of his mind. Ichigo had taken his little sisters trick or treating, Zangetsu was in his hermit hut smoking something funky that made him giggle a lot and act really wacky. And he was just plain bored.

He had pranked a few people but found it to be very boring after a while. Humans scared too easily.

So for the hell of it he went to visit Chad. One of the few humans that Hichigo got along with.

"So what brings you here?" Chad asked as Nova poured them some coffee.

_**"I was bored. Been scarying people most of the day but it's too easy. I need a real challenge." **_Hichigo pouted.

"If you scare the humans so easily, why don't you try to scare people in Hueco Mundo?" Chad asked.

Ominous thunder rumbled as Hichigo ginned.

"_**You...are a GENIUS!" **_the Hollow yelled as he ran out the door.

Nova turned to looke at Chad. "You do realized you just released a monster right?"

Chad nodded. "We need to pray that Ichigo never finds out it was us."

Hichigo ran to the Kurosaki residence to grab his supplies before opening a Garganta into the Hueco Mundo. Once there he was confronted by Gin and Grimmjow who quickly agreed to help with Hichigo's master plan to create fear.

An hour later the three were sitting in Gin's side of Los Noches watching various Espadas try to fight off murderous princess dolls with foot long claws and a need to do makeovers, and Aizen attempting to stop a psychopathic priest from exorcising him on the monitors. Tousen they decided they would take some mercy on and left him with an animated Chucky doll.

"That was great!" Grimmjow laughed as Nnorita screamed as a button eyed doll secured him to a chair and started to give hima feminie makeover.

"We need to do this more often." Gin laughed.

_**"Ooh! Look!"**_ Hichigo cheered_**. "Aizen is knocked out!"**_

"Quick! Let's shove him a prom dress and take pictures!"


	58. Cupid

Ch. 58 Cupid

9foxgrl

Inspired by mist shadow

Valentine's Day. A day of love for those who are together and a day to glutton on chocolate with out fear. But for some people it was a day of the yearly apocalypse. Those with insane fan clubs like Byakuya Kuchiki, Toshiro Hitsugaya, and Jushiro Ukitake spent the day in secret fallout shelters in the Seretei playing poker until midnight. The location often changed because of raids lead by the SWA.

Hichigo was not one of the ones hiding. Hell he was hired by the SWA to play cupid and hand out candy grams.

Of couse he had heard from Yuzu that Cupid shot people with arrows to get them to fall in love with others. So naturally he borrowed a bow and arrow set from Uryuu, who separated with it happily after learning of the Hollow's plan.

This year Hichigo found a random guy from the four, the third seat at his desk.

"_**HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!" **_Hichigo yelled as he shot an arrow at the unsuspecting Shinigami. The shinigami yelped as he jumped away form his desk as the arrow hit. Hichigo ran off before Unohana came out of her office.

"_**Look out Seretei! The Shiro Cupid is on the move!"**_


	59. Shiro Detector

Ch. 59 Shiro Detector

9foxgrl

Based off of Shinigami Work Diary Ep. 210

Hichigo was starring at the person sitting in front of him. The person was starring back at him while working on a stack of papers.

"Can I help you Hollow Ichigo?"

Hichigo pouted.

"_**I have a name you know."**_

"So do I, but you do not use it properly."

Hichigo growled.

"_**Fine…Hitsugaya…-san" **_Hichigo growled as he added the suffix.

"Why are you here and not with Kurosaki?"

"_**Because, it's boring in the human world." **_Hichigo said as he walked over to Rangiku's sat on the desk.

The two resumed their silence until Hichigo's cell phone started playing 'Prayer of the Refugee' by Rise Against.

Hichigo looked surprised as he answered the call.

"_**Yo? What's up King?"**_

_-Hey, you're in the Seretei right?-_

"_**Yah."**_

_-Are you near the Tenth by chance?-_

"_**Yah, why?"**_

_-We lost Rangiku-_

"_**What? Hold on! I'll put you on speaker!" **_Hichigo said as he hit the button. _**"Go ahead King."**_

_-Like I was saying, we were patrolling the north district when we lost Rangiku. We tried sensing her but we can't seem to find her!-_

Toshiro's eye twitched. "Have you tried her communicator?"

_-She left it at Orihime's place along with a stack of tea stained paperwork. Orihime said that she left sometime this morning to meet with us.-_

Toshiro twitched again. "tell me…what's in the North district?"

_-Lots of stores and cafes. Why do you ask?-_

Toshiro sighed. "Kurosaki, put me on speakerphone, I can find her for you."

Hichigo turned his head sideways. _**"Really? From here?"**_

Toshiro nodded. "Ready Kurosaki?"

_-Hai!-_

Toshiro took a deep breath. Hichigo looked at him curiously.

"MATSUMOTO!


	60. Babysitter

Ch. 60 Babysitter

9foxgrl

**Inspired by Cullendaughter45 **

Hichigo twitched. He had been helping Ichigo and Zangetsu catch the renegade zanapaktous that were running amuck in the Seretei. He had passed the head healer who had defeated her zanpaktou by glaring at it. Whatever she did made the large stingray burst out in tears and surrender without a fight.

What ever she did Hichigo did not want to find out.

He used Sonido to get a few kilometers away when he was tackled by two identical brats decked out in blue.

"_**Eh? Who are you brats?"**_

"Sogyo no Kotowari!" the twins cheered.

Hichigo looked them over. _**"You two would happen to be someone's zanpaktou by chance?"**_

"Hai!" the twins cheered.

Hichigo nodded and grabbed them by their collars.

"WHAT!"

"WHERE ARE YOU TAKING US!"

"_**To get un-brain washed!" **_Hichigo said as he sonidoed away.

"Let us go!" the twins yelped as they drew their swords.

Hichigo stopped and glared at them_**. "If you two be good I'll give you candy!"**_

Sogyo no Kotowari hugged him and began chanting "CANDY! CANDY!" at the top of their lungs.

'_**And I thought King's sisters were annoying.'**_


	61. Ichigo's Cell Phone

Ch. 61 Ichigo's Cellphone

9foxgrl

A peek at Ichigo's contacts in his cell phone and their ring tones

Isshin Kurosaki - "Dare to Be Stupid" - Weird Al Yankovic

Karin Kurosaki - "She's A Rebel" - Green Day

Keigo Asano- "Pretty Fly for a White Guy" - The Offspring

Kenpachi Zaraki- "Bodies" - Drowning Pool

Rangiku Matsumoto - "Last Friday Night" - Katy Perry

Soi Fon - "Girlfight Remix" - Brook Valentine

Toshiro Hitsugaya - "You're gonna Go Far Kid" - The Offspring

Ulquiorra Schiffer - "Somewhere I Belong" - Linkin Park

A/n: I have most of these songs on my Ipod.


	62. TV

Ch. 62 TV

9foxgrl

_A/N: okay, I saw this on you tube 'Grimmjow Mentos'. It is hilarious. But how did Grimmjow get a spot on the commercial? _

Grimmjow blinked. He had to be halucinating because there was a flyer on his door.

**Like Acting? Singing? Or just handy with a Camera?**

**Well we want YOU!**

_**Hueco Mundo Entertainment **_

_**HME**_

**Now hiring!**

**Looking for actors, actress, and techies willing to be in commercials and different kinds of TV shows ranging from dramas, action, mystery, and of course the occasion car chase in the World of the Living! **

**Call (xxx)xxx-xxxx **

**Ask for Shirosaki**

Five days later Aizen was was drinking his tea when HME started up. He spat it out when he saw Grimmjow on the screen for a Mentos commercial.

Gin just laughed. "Well, he does have nice teeth!"


	63. Desert Filming

Ch. 63 Desert Filming

9foxgrl

**_"Alright, we're about to film the great chase across the desert. Those dune buggies ready?"_**

"All set!" called out a random techie.

"Roger that! Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, and Nnorita! You're need on set!" Ichigo called out into his headset.

"Coming!"

Nnorita grinned as he hopped into a the dull buggy with the rocket launchers and Renji holding a camera. A few yards away Ulquiorra and Grimmjow jumped into the other were Ikkaku was with his camera.

**_"ALRIGHT! QUIET ON THE SET!"_**

Uryuu was holding the camera in the director's dune buggy with Hichigoin shot gun and Zangetsu was at the wheel. Ichigo was in the dune buggy next to their with Orihime and Toshiro. placed a clapper in front of Toshiro's camera.

"HOLLOW DESERT CHASE SCENE! TAKE ONE! ACTION!"

_-Meanwhile in Los Noches-_

"_How is it possible that that Ryoka managed to not only make it to Hueco Mundo, but convinced more then half of my forces to be in their shows?" Aizen growled. _

"_There could be several factors to this idea Lord Aizen." Tousen commented. _

"_Yeah, I mean they aren't getting paid but that Kurosaki brat is giving them incentives to come into the world of the Living. As long as they don't attack humans he'll look the other way if they decide to roam around in gigais." Gin commented. "There's also the fact that they are getting famous over it, some shinigami are drooling over the actors and actresses. Not to mention I heard that I heard Ulquiorra was asked to star in their making of Batman as the top bat himself!"_

"_How did you know that?" Aizen yelled. _

_Gin grinned. "I'm playing the Joker!"_

_CRASH!_

"_HEY! OUTTA MY WAY!"_

"_YEHAW!"_

"_Out of the road!"_

"_Pull over trash!"_

"_Not on your life!"_

"_Oh shit! Hang on Ulq!"_

_SCREECH!_

"_That' was close!"_

"_Shoot out his tires!"_

Aizen blinked.

"Gin…did I just see three dune buggies drive by…with three of my best Espada, three Ryoka, and three Shinigami?"

"Yes, yes you did."

"..Pray tell what are they filming if Nnorita has rocket launchers in his."

"Why is Captain Hitsugaya even here?"

"I dunno. I think he just wants to be here to trash the place."

"I think it's a special remake of Rambo…"


	64. Mutual Agreement

Ch. 64 Mutual Agreement

9foxgrl

"Kurosaki, Ichigo. Are you aware why you were brought before the Captain Assembly…again?"

Ichigo stood nonchalantly. "Does it have to do with HME and the filming we have been doing in Hueco Mundo the last six weeks?"

"Yes! Why didn't you invite me along?" Kenpachi yelled.

"No! Especially since the filming you do causing a great deal of damage for Aizen." huffed the old man.

"Especially with the making of _Batman: Despair_" Mayuri added. "According to my sources they still haven't patched the hole you that Captain Hitsugaya made in the ceiling."

The mentioned captain grinned evilly. "Well the script called for a '_cold dark night' in the city." _

"_Then what is it?" Ichigo sighed. "I left Hichigo in charge of his next project without Zangetsu there to reign him in."_

"_Why did you prevent us from attacking last Saturday?"_

"_Because it would violate a mutual agreement between that my Hollow made with the Espada."_

"_What mutual agreement?"_

_Ichigo took out a folder out of his uniform. "Every Friday is Poker Night switching between Nnorita's place and an abandoned Warehouse outside of town. There is a cease fire agreement on certain holidays such as Halloween, Dia de Los Muertos, Christmas, and New Years."_

_Toshiro nodded. "Not to mention we have a clause that makes us not responsible for the damages that are a result of filming. And there is also the free for all treaty we have to prank the hell out of Aizen."_

_The other captains murmured in surprise. _

"_Who is responsible for this treaty?" Unohana asked. _

"_On our side it was Captain Hitsugaya, my Hollow Hichigo, Uryuu, and myself." Ichigo commented. "On there side was Gin, Grimmjow, Ulquiorra, and Stark."_

"_The traitor supports the treaty?" Byakuya asked incredulously. _

"_It's mostly so we can give Aizen headaches and an ulcer." Toshiro said with a grin. _


	65. Mirrors

Ch. 65 Mirrors

9foxgrl

_Inspired by llittleking9512_

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! YOU IDIOT!"

Hichigo whimpered as Ichigo was in front of him ranting. Karin and Toshiro were standing in the doorway looking equally terrified. Jinta and Yuzu were trying to hide behind them shaking in terror.

"I CAN'T LEAVE YOU ALONE! ALL I ASK IS FOR YOU TO WATCH THE BRATS-"

"OY!"

"- FOR AT LEAST ONE HOUR AT THE AMUSEMENT PARK SO I COULD TAKE MY FINALS! YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO BE THE RESPONSIBLE ADULT! NOT LET THEM RUN RAMPANT!"

"_**Hey! How was I suppose to know they would trick me then go O.D. on sugar?"**_

"THEY DIDN'T DECIDE TO WANDER AROUND THE HALL OF MIRRORS THEN GET LOST!"

"_**NEXT YOU WILL BE SAYING I RUINED YOU CHANCE FOR A DATE WITH ORIHIME!"**_

"YOU DID!"


	66. Experiments

Ch. 66 Experiments

9foxgrl

_**Inspired by Upsilon Forty-Two formerly known as Upsilon Four XD**_

Hichigo was coming back from the market with Yuzu when they found Ichigo and Karin in the yard working with what appeared to be modeling clay.

"_**What are you doing King?"**_

"We're fixing up one of Karin's old science experiments." Ichigo said as he took a bottle of cola and a pack of mentos out of the shopping bag. He set the cola on the platform while Karin packed the clay around it.

Hichigo went inside to help Yuzu put away the groceries.

"_**What's it suppose to be?"**_

"A volcano." Yuzu replied.

"_**I thought volcanoes are suppose to explode and stuff."**_

"Just wait until they add the mentos."

"_**Huh?"**_

"_**FIRE IN THE HOLE!" screamed Karin as she and Ichigo jumped through the window. **_

Hichigo watched as the cola volcano exploded, sending a geyser of the cola up in the air. His eyes grew wide and a diabolic grin made an appearance. He ran upstairs and grabbed Ichigo's cell phone then dialed Grimmjow.

"Yeah?"

**_"Dude!"_**

"Shiro?"

**_"I got an idea to prank Aizen! We need a lot of cola and a ton of mentos!"_**

-A few minutes later -

BOOM!

Las Noches' central dome blew off in a mushroom cloud of cola. The Espada, Hichigo, and Gin watched in awe.

"Dude…" they all said in awe.


	67. Common Pains

Ch. 67 Common Pains

9foxgrl

Inspired by mist shadow

"Ohayo Hisagi-san." Ichigo called out as he entered the office with several folders.

"Still working on your community service hours Kurosaki-san?" the vice captain asked as he looked up from the rough draft of the Seretai Community magazine.

"Hai. If I knew leaving Hichigo alone with Yachiru would result in so much damage I would have never agreed to letting him stay there while I went to the last meeting."

"Well at least he's not as bad as Kazeshini." Hisagi pointed out.

"Hisagi-san, Hichigo is an insane bastard who lives for mayhem and destruction. It took several months just to get him to stop stabbing me in the back!"

"Kazeshini tried to murder me!"

"Hichigo tried to take over my body almost daily until we got him that gigai!"

The two argued about who had the worst partner. Finally in the end they swore never to let Kazeshini and Hichigo meet. It would be the apocalypse.


	68. Paint Ball

Ch. 68 Paint Ball

9foxgrl

_Inspired by Cullendaughter45_

_Codenames _

_Fox: Gin_

_Whiteout: Hichigo_

_Spoon: Nnorita_

_Paws: Grimmjow_

_Strawberry: Ichigo_

_Emo: Ulquiorra_

_Blizzard: Toshiro_

_Sparkles: Aizen_

"_**Fox, this is Whiteout, Sparkles in our sights."**_

"Roger Whiteout. Spoon are you in position?"

"Roger Fox. Paws what's you twenty?"

"This is Paws ten clicks away, damn you Whiteout. I'm choosing the codenames next time."

"_**Fuck you Paws."**_

"This is Strawberry. Look Paws, I ain't happy either!"

"This is Emo, Sparkles is detouring from the crossroads."

"_**Right, time for Mafia style Emo!"**_

"With pleasure."

"Blizzard, you ready with the coup d'grace?"

"Set and ready Fox!"

"_**Let **__**Operation Barbie **__**begin!"**_

Aizen was strolling around the exterior of Las Noches doing a routine check of the building with Ulquiorra following with a clipboard. He was about to head to the east wing when a red paint bullet splattered a foot from him. He was about to unleash his zanpaktou when he was shot from different directions until he was pink head to toe.

"What's going on?" Aizen snapped, he turned to his subordinate only to find a Russian style pistol aimed at his temple.

"Keep walking or I'll blow your brains out." the stoic Espada ordered.

Aizen was met by several other people holding guns dressed in khaki fatigues and masks. They lead him to a room where a shorter member of the group was waiting with a video camera and a trunk of dress up clothes.

_Ten Hours later Tousen and the Seretei received a music video of Aizen in various dresses singing Barbie Girl. _


	69. The Meeting

Ch. 69 The Meeting

9foxgrl

_Inspired by Gemini24 & Cullendaughter45_

Ichigo, Zangetsu, and Hisagi were with Byakuya drinking tea when the building was shook by an explosion. Alarmed Ichigo and Hisagi left the tea ceremony in a hurry leaving the Zangestu having a pleasant conversation on bonsai trees with Byakuya.

They reached the road to find the R&D's main laboratory completely destroyed and Mayuri's zanpaktou lying in the rubble stunned.

"Oh Hell…"

"Hichigo and Kazeshini must have met up and did this!" Ichigo said in a panic.

They paled.

"Mayuri is going to kill us!" they yelled in unison.

They quickly turned and pell-mell down the street not noticing Sebonzakura, and Zabimaru, emerge from the rubble.

_Across town…_

_Hichigo and Kazeshini were with Ikkaku and Kenpachi chugging sake and trading stories on their best fights. _


	70. Hugh Heffner

Ch. 70 Hugh Heffner

9foxgrl

Inspired by Dashita Tichou

SMA MEETING- AUGUST 21- 2312 HOURS

"_**Okay! We got a lot of money with our Sexy Shinigami Lady calendar! But the funds were not enough! Especially after the SWA demanded their cut! The floor is open to ideas!"**_

"We should make a movie!"

"Hmm, that might work."

"What kind?"

"What about a biography on Hugh Heffner?"

"Who?"

"Isn't that the guy who lives in the Playboy Bunny Mansion?"

Several men gasped.

"_**All in favor?"**_

"_**AYE!"**_


	71. Sick Day

Ch. 71 Sick Day

9foxgrl

_Inspired by Natsurei Kuni_

"_**Achoo!"**_

Sneezes and groans were coming from Hichigo as he curled up in his bed in the sick bay. Ichigo was standing in the room with a mask and lab coat on.

"_**I hate this…how the fuck did I get sick?"**_

"Who knew idiots could catch colds." Ichigo commented as he looked at Hichigo's blood work under a microscope. "Huh this is new."

"_**What?"**_

"There is no virus or sign of bacteria." Ichigo said clearly amused.

"_**You were less annoying before ya became a doctor!" **_Hichigo huffed as he coughed.

Ichigo was staring into the microscope a full minute before calling the Director's office.

"Mr. Ryuuken. I think we have a mutated genome for making Hollows sick."

"I'll be right down."

"_**Can I get some chicken soup?" **_Hichigo moaned.

"Yeah, yeah." Ichigo said non-chantly. "Hey, Nurse, can you send up some soup?"

_A/N: We're getting closer to the end folks! Review all you can folks_


	72. Alarm Clocks

Ch. 72 Alarm Clocks

9foxgrl

Inspired by hollow nature

**Isshin: **After many years he learned to sense when his son wakes up so he can be the first to greet him.

**Rangiku**: After a long weekend of nonstop binges her best way to wake up on Monday is an alarm that dumps a bucket of ice water on her.

**Kenpachi**: No one really knows how he wakes up. But when he does come out of his room he's covered in blood.

**Ichigo**: Either his alarm clock or a flying, screaming Isshin.

**Hichigo**: A personal alarm recording of the Joker cackling. When the last actor died he joined the SMA.

**Zangetsu**: He keeps his alarm in his special tree house. No one has been able to go in and see it. Many suspect it's a squirrel with a tambourine.


	73. Hichigo's Cell Phone

Ch. 73 Hichigo's Cell Phone

9foxgrl

A Peek into the Cell phone of Hichigo Shirosaki

Ichigo : Prayer of the Refugee

Isshin : American Idiot

Grimmjow: Animal I have Become

Gin: I'm a Gummi Bear

Zaraki: War Machine

Zangetsu: Main Theme from the Godfather

Ulquiorra: Theme from Batman Movie

Yachiru: Mario Word March #3

"_**How the Hell did you get my phone?"**_

"Oh crap!"

a/n: 73 chapters down, only 27 left to go. Can everyone please review?


	74. Rock On

Ch. 74 Rock Out

9foxgrl

**Inspired by Just that American**

Ichigo was reading heavily into his medical book. He was cramming hard for his final exam. He was so happy, he was just a few hours away from finishing Tokyo University's pre-med program and would soon start the Doctorate program.

He had just finished reviewing his note when he head the blare of a loud electric guitar in his head.

'_What the Hell?'_

"_**Zanny and I were bored so we're practicing to play instruments! I found an electric guitar!" **_Hichigo yelled as he began to play the riff from Freebird.

'_Zangetsu…you too?'_

Ichigo got the mental image of Zangetsu holding an electric bass.

"_I was bored." _

"_**ROCK ON BABY!**_


	75. Cautious Dining

Ch. 75 Cautious Dining

9foxgrl

Inspired by littleking9512

Ichigo paled at as Orihime placed a bowl of purple noodles in front of him. It was bubbling ominously. Ichigo may not be a five star cook, but he knew that noodles were supposed to bubble and the fishcakes were suppose to heckle him.

"_**What is this stuff King?"**_

Ichigo turned as gasped as he saw his Hollow be served with a mug of bubbling green coffee topped with whipped cream, orange shavings, licorice and red bean paste. Zangetsu was next to him poking cautiously at a steak with a side of pink rice with his knife.

"Well? Aren't you going to try it?" Orihime asked giddily.

Zangetsu had managed to finish off his steak and rice. Ichigo was down for the count and Hichigo was bowing to the porcelain throne.

"_Needs a bit more ketchup." _


	76. Instant Messaging

Ch. 76 IM

9foxgrl

IM IDs

**Not_Emo: Ulquiorra**

**SpoonDude: Nnorita**

**KingNeko: Grimmjow**

**Starhime: Orihime**

**BlackKnight: Ichigo**

**Kitsune: Gin**

**SharkAmazon: Tia**

_Not_Emo has logged on_

_SpoonDude has logged on_

Not_Emo: Sparkles wants us to go and attack next Saturday.

SpoonDude: ? But that's wet t-shirt night HOOTERS!

Not_Emo: Is that ur main concern?…T.T

SpoonDude: Yah! This grl Ringo w/ D size knockers is competin!

_KingNeko has logged in_

KingNeko: Wet t-shirt? Y didn't u tell me N?

SpoonDude: Oh yeh! I forgot 2 send u the invite! So U, r u in for Sat?

Not_Emo: No, I'm meeting with some one

_Starhime, & BlackKnight have logged in_

SpoonDude: U got a grfrnd? O.O

Not_Emo: /T.T\\

Not_Emo: Maybe…

Starhime: Congrats U!

BlackKnight: Hah! I won the bet G!

Not_Emo: Bet?

KingNeko: Damn. So U isn't gay after all.

_Not_Emo has logged off_

KingNeko: Wat? ei;gaaaa

_KingNeko has logged off_

_Kitsune has logged on_

Kitsune: Ohayo~!

BlackKnight: It's the afternoon.

Starhime: Hello GI!

Kitsune: Can someone tell me why U is trying to murder G?

SpoonDude: look at the messages b4 u logged in

Kitsune: LOL XD

_Kitsune has logged off_

_Shark_Amazon has logged on_

Shark_Amazon: OK, who is responsible for GI dying of laughter on the floor right now? Or why U is strangling G?

Starhime: Scroll up

Shark_Amazon: ….B back in a sec

_Shark Amazon has logged off_

Spoon_Dude: WTF! SAVE ME!

_Spoon_Dude has logged off_

BlackKnight: Sooooo….O do you want 2 go catch a movie or something?

Starhime: Okay!

BlackKnight: C u in 15 min?

Starhime: K!

_Starhime has logged off_

_BlackKnight has logged off_


	77. Espresso

Ch. 77 Espresso

9foxgrl

Hichigo was humming the theme song to Mission Impossible as he and Ichigo slipped into various houses and buildings of the Seretei. Hichigo was wearing a backpack filled with Starbuck's strongest espresso. It was early hours of the morning, no one was even awake yet.

They were swiping the tea they could and spiking the pre-made stuff with the espresso. They had been caught by Byakuya but he said and I quote "At least you picked my day off to pull this stunt."

Both the noble and the ninja commander has taken that day off to go to the World of the Living. Byakuya was meeting with some lady who was into calligraphy and flower arranging while Soi Fon was going on a date with her beau Grimmjow. Either way they were getting away from the mayhem to come.

Hichigo made sure to leave a large amount of coffee ice cream and Red Bull for his favorite hellion Yachiru before boarding up her doorway.

Five Hours Later….

Hichigo and Ichigo were on top of Executioner's Hill watching the madness below. Half of the buildings were on fire, there was screaming and mass panic. The entire 10th Division was in it's personal Ice Age. There was a bright pink streak bouncing around like a pachinko ball.

"_**Err…What now King?"**_

Ichigo took out his cellphone and quickly sent a text message to Byakuya and Soi Fon

_Don't come back. _

_Apocalypse in progress_

_Byakuya read the message then went to ask his guest if she wanted to got to a dinner show. Soi Fon merely decided to go with Grimmjow for a night in Hueco Mundo. _

_The next day when they returned they gasped at the mass mayhem. They quickly turned around. _

"_I'm taking the rest of the weekend off!" they said in unison. _


	78. Purification

Ch. 78 Purification

9foxgrl

**THAK YOU EVERYONE FOR THE REVIEWS!**

Inspired by sakurademonalchemist

Hichigo screamed as Zangetsu and Ichigo grabbed him and dragged him to a small fountain in Ichigo's inner world. He had been asleep when the two snuck up on him and dragged him to the fountain that was sparkling with pure water.

Once they arrived the two dunked the Hollow head first into the water and began to chant.

"THE POWER OF SANITY COMPELS YOU!"

"_THE POWER OF SANITY COMPELS YOU!"_

"THE POWER OF SANITY COMPELS YOU!"

"_THE POWER OF SANITY COMPELS YOU!"_

Hichigo gasped as he came up for breath again then escaped to the real world and high tailed it to Hueco Mundo. He shook off the trauma by killing a few Gillian Hollows. He had just fed off the fifteenth Gillian when an evil smile crossed his face.

_-(Five Minutes Later)-_

Aizen was joining the Espada for their daily meeting when the ceiling exploded. When the dust cleared it revealed Hichigo dressed like a mix between a priest and a gunslinger complete with twin pistols and a cowboy hat.

"What do you want?" Aizen said reaching for his sword.

With a flick Hichigo drew his twin pistols.

"_**THE POWER OF SANITY COMPELS YOU!"**_

Gin laughed as the pistols turned out to be tricked out water guns shooting holy water. Within seconds Aizen was a wet rat. The Espadas stood there stunned until Stark asked:

"Got another set?


	79. Madness

Ch. 79 Madness

9foxgrl

_Inspired by Upsilon Forty-Two_

There was a great deal of mayhem as Aizen was fighting with the Seretei Captains. His side was now down to him and Stark who was being tag teamed by Ukitake and Kyoraku. The Ryoka Ichigo Kurosaki disappeared a few minutes ago.

"You can't win!" Aizen yelled.

"We will destroy you at all costs!" Yamamoto yelled, preparing to unleash his bankai.

"This is madness!" Aizen bellowed.

"Madness?"

Aizen shuddered as Ichigo appeared out of now where with an ancient Greek solider beside him.

"THIS IS SPARTA!" the Greek bellowed kicking Aizen in the face and sending him through all of the remaining buildings.

The man raised his spear.

"SPARTANS! ASSEMBLE!"

The ground split open revealing a fiery pit and several men dress similarly to Leonidas ran out.

"TONIGHT WE DRINK OUT OF HIS SKULL!"

"You were right Zangetsu. Getting Leonidas out here was a great idea. " Ichigo commented as he watched the Spartans beat the crap out of Aizen.

Hueco Mundo was then renamed Sparta.


	80. Jeopardy

Ch. 80 Jeopardy

9foxgrl

"Welcome everyone, THIS IS JEOPARDY: SPIRIT WEEK! Lets introduce today's contestants. First we have a fifteen year old student from Karakura Town and leader of the Ryoka Team. Please welcome Ichigo Kurosaki!"

Ichigo waved to the studio audience.

"Second we have the Seretei's Stealth Force Commander, Please welcome Captain Soi Fon."

Soi Fon acknowledge the camera briefly.

"And our returning champion. From Hueco Mundeo, the stoic devil of the sky. Espada Ulquiorra Cilfer!"

There were several screams from the female audience as Ulquiorra's face appeared on the screen.

"AND NOW OUR HOST KISSSSSUKKE URAHARA!"

Kisuke appeared with a bang onto the staged dressed in a dark green suit and his trusty bucket hat in place.

"Thank you Tessai for the introduction! Now my lovely contestants let s start this game!"

The large screen behind him beeped as the categories appeared.

"The categories are-"

SCARY WOMEN

WHAT'S THAT KIDO?

HOLLOW OR VIZARD?

WHOSE THAT CAPTAIN?

TRUE OR FALSE?

"- Ladies first."

Soi Fon looked at the screen. "I'll take Scary Women for $300."

"This woman can tends to hit people with her sandals."

Ichigo buzzed in. "Who is Hiyori?"

"Correct!"

"Whose that Captain for $100."

"This Captain is said to be the scariest in all of the Seretei!"

Soi Fon buzzed in. "Who is Kenpachi Zaraki?"

"Wrong!"

"What?" Kenpachi yelled from the audience.

"Anyone else?"

Ichigo buzzed in. "Who is General Yamamoto?"

"Wrong!"

Ulquiorra buzzed in. "Who is Retsu Unohana?"

"Correct!"

"HOW IS SHE SCARIER THEN ME?" Zaraki yelled.

"Would you care to find out?" a cold voice asked him.

"No…" Zaraki said quickly as he felt the flames of Hell at the back of his neck.


	81. Madness is its Own Reward

Ch. 81 Madness is its Own Reward

9foxgrl

_**Inspired by ShikaTachidoriKitsuneHebiTaka, Cullendaughter45, littleking9512, mist shadow, and sakurademonalchemist**_

Aizen was trembling in a nice padded room in the Seretei. He had finally reached his limit. He didn't know or care how the Ryoka and his Hollow side turned all his loyal Espada against him. Or maybe this was Karma coming to bite him in the arse for trying to overthrow a God.

It started a little while after he had abandoned the Seretei. Somehow Kurosaki and his Hollow found their way to Las Noches, but instead of fighting they decided to cause massive mayhem.

They started with slipping pure caffeinated coffee ice cream to Yachiru, Lilynette, and a former Espada named Nel then telling them to have fun with an endless game of tag. The sheer destruction…it took days to for them to stop. Not to mention Grimmjow was run over by them. He described it as getting hit by a freight train.

Then there was the circus they set up. They had some how tamed some of the more animalistic Hollows to perform in the shows. It was bad enough that Gin volunteered him to be a human cannonball.

He shuddered in horror when a newbie shinigami named Yuki or what ever introduce some of the Espada to yaoi manga and fan fiction. The doushiji of him and various males drawn by Tia made him have nightmares for weeks. And considering that she drew a rather graphic scene with him and his zanpakotu's manifested form…*shudder* Especially after Tia convinced the Ryoka into publishing it in the Seretei for her. It was an instant hit, especially with his former fan club.

The fifth plague to come was the Ryoka kicking down the door to a private meeting with his Hollow and yelling 'Water Gun War!' Needless to say Tia murdered everyone who opposed her. Grimmjow and Ulquiorra stayed out of the fight for their own reasons.

But the worst had to be when they flooded the great dome with a large pool filled with hundreds of gallons of shaken up cola and a crate of Mentos with him tied to it. As soon as everyone, minus him and Tousen had evacuated, the Mentos was dropped in and the dome exploded outwards from the cola bomb.

After being traumatized a great many times Aizen fled to the Seretei and turned himself in to the 1st, begging for them to put him in solitary confinement. Thankfully they accepted.

Or so he thought….

"How is he doing tonight?" Szyael asked as Tousen stepped out of the padded insanity cells in the dungeons of Hueco Mundo.

"A bit better, at least he wasn't giggling about the girls running him over again."

"Yes, he hasn't been the same since those three ran him over repeatedly in their game of tag."


	82. Left 4 Dead

CH. 82 Left 4 Dead

9foxgrl

This is inspired by _FS31's _"Left 4 Dead with the Espada". I advise you also to check out **"How Grimmjow Stole Christmas (in Hueco Mundo)" **or _**"CPR for Dummies**_", also by FS31.

Ichigo had done a double take when he saw Ulquiorra in Karakura town wearing a gigai. Just dressed like an average teenager.

"Ulquiorra?" Ichigo asked.

"Trash."

"It's Ichigo, can you at least act like a normal teenager?"

Ulquiorra grimaced. "I'll try…"

"So why are you here?"

"The Espada are growing restless, so Lord Aizen asked me to get something that might keep them …occupied.."

Ichigo pondered. "How big is your budget?"

"Several billion yen."

Ichigo grinned. "Ulquiorra I got just the place to hit. Every heard of video games?"

An hour later….

"Hey! Open the door!"

Lilynette skipped over and yanked the door open letting in Ichigo and Ulquiorra who were carrying several dozen boxes and bags.

"What are you doing here Ryoka?" Tousen asked.

Ichigo grinned diabolically. "I'm here to introduce you guys to a little game called Left 4 Dead."

Hueco Mundo didn't know what hit it…


	83. Stupid Criminals

Ch. 83 Stupid Criminals

9foxgrl

This little baby was inspired by **Miku Alli's **fan fiction _What Did He Do? _This story had me in stitches so take a look after you finish reviewing! XD

Ichigo was gasping for air. Less then a minute ago Karin had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on him as he choked on a mouthful of cereal. He had just found out where Hichigo had been all day; on a crime spree across Karakura.

Robbing a gun store.

Leading police on a wild chase through town.

Demolishing a McDonalds with a horse trailer.

And of course attempting to rob a bank.

It all ended with him being arrest by the SWAT team and more then half the police department. Hell it made the evening news!

He wasn't sure if it was bad enough that he was Hichigo's accomplice in escaping prison!

But then again Hichigo had Grimmjow's help in causing massive mayhem.

Hmm...

_'Maybe...' _Ichigo thought _'I should ask Gin to set them up a play date in Hueco Mundo.'_


	84. Dance

Ch.84 Dance

9foxgrl

Inspiration for this came from _Writer's-411_

Oh yeah, I do not own any of these songs or Bleach.

* * *

><p>"A what…?"<p>

"A dance party." Ichigo said as he hung the poster outside the Sixth Division Barracks. His latest partner in crime Orihime was helping him hang them up. "The Espada, Vizards, and us 'Ryoka' are bored. Apparently Aizen took a trip on the Loony Express and they been sitting around."

Renji blinked, trying to under stand that. He looked at the corner of the poster that showed a teenage with sunglasses and in a white jacket. "Okay…Whose DJ Cross?"

"Uryuu."

"Seriously?"

"Surprised me too. The guy was a hit at out school dance."

Three days later….

In the basement of the Urahara Shoten

"_**Welcome everyone to our Dance Competition, brought to you by Urahara Shoten, Karakura Hospital, Don Kanoji Entertainment, and the Kurosaki Clinc! Welcome your DJ of the night !"**_

The crowd cheered as Uryuu aka DJ Cross came out on stage decked out in all white with his trademark sunglasses.

"Lets start this party!" Uryuu cheered as he started _Party Rock Anthem_.

Near the end of the song it was a shuffling contest between Keigo, Gin, and Renji. The crowd was cheering them on and laughing.

_Blame it On the Pop_

Byakuya showed his prowess for dancing again; apparently as a teen he had a rebellious stage. Several pictures were taken of it. The song had everyone jumping to the beat.

_Moves Like Jagger_

Grimmjow and Soi Fon were loving this song.

Several songs later the party ended at one a.m.

The night ended on a good note. It would be months before anyone from Hueco Mundo or the Seetei would fight. Uryuu was booked solid for gigs, five for Gin's new club in Hueco Mundo. It went down history as the day of peace.

And Urahara had to modify the memory of several police officers who were called about the loud music.


	85. Death on Doorstep

Ch. 85 Death on Doorstep

9foxgrl

_Inspired by mist shadow_

Aizen ran as fast as he could. Death was after him. Literally.

Apparently word made it's way around the world of hiim trying to take over the world/Heaven. Now he had three other personifications of Death after him.

From the Europe and the States there were two skeletal beings named Grimm and Grim chasing after him with scythes. Then, who probably thought was the scariest, was Death of Russia; Prekrassa. She wore a black leather suit and carried twin automatic pistols. Her eyes of fire sent chills down his spine.

"You ass is mine traitor!" Prekrassa yelled.

Aizen picked up the pace as a bullet grazed his scalp. Curse Gin for hiding his zanpaktou!


	86. Vampires

Ch. 86 Vampire

9foxgrl

Ichigo was pondering over what Urahara had just told them. The Bounts were also known as Vampires.

"_Well there is only one thing to do about it." _Zangetsu replied.

'_What?'_

"_Get holy water, iron and wooden stakes, a blow torch, and a cross!"_

"_**Don't forget a crossbow!"**_

'_Err…why?_

"_To kill them of course! If all else fails we be head them!"_

"_**I second that motion!"**_

_OMAKE _

_Version 2_

Ichigo was glaring daggers at Kariya. They had infiltrated the Bount hideout only to be caught. Suddenly in the middle of the Bount leader's speech Zangetsu and Hichigo materialized. Ichigo did a double take. The two were wearing suits, fedoras and armed with several weapons.

"Err...guys…what are you doing?"

"_Isn't it obvious?" _Zangetsu replied tilting his hat a bit. _"We're going vampire hunting."_

"_**Dibs on Dracula here!" **_Hichigo said notching a arrow in his crossbow.

Ichigo blinked. "Well he does look like Dracula…"

"And that's how the Bount mansion caught on fire!"

Soi Fon was rubbing her temples. "So while your zanpaktou and hollow side…destroyed the Bounts you rescued the Quincy?"

"Yep…"

"And why was the mansion burned down?"

"To make sure they didn't come back!


	87. Karaoke

Ch. 87 Karaoke

9foxgrl

I do not own Bleach or this son by Voltaire. I repeat, I do not own the rights to these characters or this song!

Ichigo sighed as he entered a building in his mindscape. "Remind me again why we are doing this?"

"_Team bonding!" _Zangetsu replied. _"Now choose a song. Hit it Hichigo!"_

Hichgo took up the microphone eagerly. And stared to sing;

_**When the Devil is too busy**_

_**And Death's a bit too much**_

_**They call on me by name you see,**_

_**For my special touch.**_

_**To the Gentlemen I'm Miss Fortune**_

_**To the Ladies I'm Sir Prize**_

_**But call me by any name**_

_**Any way it's all the same**_

_**I'm the fly in your soup**_

_**I'm the pebble in your shoe**_

_**I'm the pea beneath your bed**_

_**I'm a bump on every head**_

_**I'm the peel on which you slip**_

_**I'm a pin in every hip**_

_**I'm the thorn in your side**_

_**Makes you wriggle and writhe**_

_**And it's so easy when you're evil**_

_**This is the life, you see**_

_**The Devil tips his hat to me**_

_**I do it all because I'm evil**_

_**And I do it all for free**_

_**Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need**_

_**While there's children to make sad**_

_**While there's candy to be had**_

_**while there's pockets left to pick**_

_**While there's grannies to trip down the stairs**_

_**I'll be there, I'll be waiting round the corner**_

_**It's a game. I'm glad I'm in it**_

_**'Cause there's one born every minute**_

_**I pledge my allegiance, to all things dark**_

_**And I promise on my damned soul**_

_**To do as I am told, Lord Beelzebub**_

_**Has never seen a soldier quite like me**_

_**Not only does his job, but does it happily.**_

_**I'm the fear that keeps you awake**_

_**I'm the shadows on the wall**_

_**I'm the monsters they become**_

_**I'm the nightmare in your skull**_

_**I'm a dagger in your back**_

_**An extra turn on the rack**_

_**I'm the quivering of your heart**_

_**A stabbing pain, a sudden start.**_

_**And it's so easy when you're evil**_

_**This is the life, you see**_

_**The Devil tips his hat to me**_

_**I do it all because I'm evil**_

_**And I do it all for free**_

_**Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need**_

_**And I do it all for free**_

_**Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need**_

_**And I do it all for free**_

_**Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need**_

_**It gets so lonely being evil**_

_**What I'd do to see a smile**_

_**Even for a little while**_

_**And no one loves you when you're evil**_

_**I'm lying though my teeth!**_

_**Your tears are all the company I need **_

With that Hichigo took a bow and got off the stage. Zangetsu was applauding.

"_Bravo! Bravo!"_

Ichigo shuddered. "That song fits him a bit too well!"

Hichigo laughed. _**"Of course it does King!**_


	88. Otaku

Ch. 88 Otaku

9foxgrl

"Where are we going?" Ichigo asked as his albino twin dragged him and Toshiro along through Tokyo.

_**"Where else? We are going to the Holy Grail of all events!"**_

"At New Years?" Ichigo yawned.

"That's at three in the morning?" Toshiro added.

_**"Come on! I got us tickets and convinced your Dad to give you an advance on your allowance!" **_

"I give up. Enlighten us."

_**"To a Manga Convention!" **_Hichigo yelled. _**"I got all that money from my book and I plan on buying the complete series of Fullmetal Alchemist, Ouran High, Gundam Wing, Haruhi, and Naruto!"**_

"I should have never introduced you to manga." Ichigo deadpanned.

"And why am I here?" Toshiro asked.

_**"Because- you can scare the crowds away from us with your ice powers!"**_

Toshiro twitched.

_**"Plus they have some cool dragon themed manga!"**_ Hichio added.

"So?"

_**"The voice actress for Ai Enma is going to be there signing autographs."**_

...

"Let's go!" Toshiro yelled as he dragged them away.

Twelve hours later...

Ichigo and Toshiro were shuddering from the after effects that was the manga convention. They both managed to buy the few things that they wanted and keep Hichigo from murdering hundreds of otaku. Toshiro was happy that he got his Jigoku Shojo book signed. On the train Hichigo took up two train seats with his manga.

"So where are you going to put all that stuff?" Toshiro asked.

"I think since Rukia sleeps in my sister's room now, I'll just shove it all into the closet."

"Good luck with that..." Toshiro deadpanned as as he returned to his manga.

A/N: If anyone is a fan of Harry Potter & Lucky Star can you check out my new story_ 'Son of Otaku'_? For now it's just a oneshot, but I might add more.


	89. Mad Scientist Convention

Ch. 89 Mad Scientist Convention

9foxgrl

"ICHIGO!"

Ichigo jumped out of bed as a large blur crashed through his window.

"What the Hell Renji!"

"Where's that insane Hollow of yours?" the lieutenant snarled.

Ichigo pointed at his head. "Why-?"

"Get him out, I want to kill him!"

"What did he do?"

Renji shoved a flyer in his face. "I found these in the Seretei!"

_**Mad Scientist Convention**_

_**Location: Karakura Park Civic Center**_

_**10 am - 4pm**_

_**Come talk about your grand diabolical experiments and plans to mutate humanty.**_

_**Lunch will be provided. **_

_**Please RSVP to Shirosaki at (***)****-*******_

"Okay, this is another haired brained scheme." Ichigo replied. "I take it Mayuri got one?"

"Of course he did."

Ichigo opened a notebook and checked off the man's name. "Okay, so far we got twenty coming."

"Hey, boy."

Ichigo turned to see Stark & Lilynette. "RSVP for Szyael?"

"He's coming."

"Alrighty then."

"Is there going to be candy there?" Lilynette asked.

"Sorry, but their is a candy expo the same day in Nara."

"Alright!"

"You planned this?" Renji gasped.

"What better way to make sure they kill themselves."


	90. Ninja

Ch. 90 Ninja

9foxgrl

Ichigo twitched as he saw a shadow flicker behind him for the hundredth time that day.

"What the Hell are doing?" Ichigo asked his pale double.

Hichigo appeared dressed all in black which did not look well on the Hollow.

"I'm a ninja."

Ichigo twitched. "I should have never let Yuzu introduced you to the Naruto manga."

Hichigo gasped dramatically. "Intruder approaching! Dead leaves no jutsu!"

The Hollow threw some leaves in the air then sonido away.

Ichigo twitched again.

"Ninja my ass."

A/N: A happy Easter to everyone


	91. Football

Ch. 91 Football

9foxgrl

Inspired by the Soul Society Rescue Arc; episode I don't know

'_So, how to get Rukia down from here?'_

"_**I have a suggestion." **_

'_What?'_

"_**Loli-football anyone?"**_

Ichigo was grinning evilly as he saw Renji arrive. Rukia just felt a chill for an unknown reason.

"_Ichigo is in possession…he is looking to pass, Renji is open."_

Ichigo leaned back, aiming Rukia at Renji.

"Wait! Ichigo!"

"_**He throws!"**_

"AHHHHHHHHHH!"

CRASH!

"_TOUCHDOWN!" _Ichigo and his Zanpaktou screamed.

"_**THE RYOKA WIN THE LOLI BOWL!"**_


	92. Easter Bunny

Ch. 92 Easter Bunny

9foxgrl

You would think after the Valentine's Day fiasco that no one in the Seretei would even think to allow Hichigo to dominate over a holiday or anything sort of job. At least that is what the Captains of 6th, 10th, and 13th said after Hichigo had found their fall out shelter under the Execution Hill and told the SWA and their fan clubs. All of Byakuya's money could never buy back the dignity that was stolen from him along with his clothes by destructive fangirls and boys.

And yet here was Hichigo running around the Seretei decked with bunny ears and a basket of Easter Eggs. Stopping occasionally at an office or two to throw the brightly colored eggs in. (Not all of them were hardboiled as some members of Squad 5 found out. Others had been 'special eggs' the Kisuke had designed to sing off key).

When the time came to deliver the chocolates Hichigo had to use a rocket powered scooter that he had swipped in order to ditch Yachiru momentarily. Of course the twenty foot tall chocolate bunny from Ukitake helped too.

The next day when Ichigo came to deliver a report he found the much of the Seretei covered in fragments of bright egg shells.

The smart thing would have been to drop off the report and run llike the Hell.

The unsmart thing was to ask what happened.


	93. Neko

Ch. 93 Neko

9foxgrl

"Look! Dad let us get a pet!" Yuzu yelled as Ichigo arrived home from school.

"Cool! Where is it?"

Meow

Ichigo froze. _'Please…don't tell me…'_

To Ichigo's relief the cat was snow white with stern teal color eyes. It was kind of scary of how much it looked like the Squad 10 Captain but Ichigo looked past it. His Hollow however…

"_**Is that the Midget?"**_

"So, what are you going to name it?" Ichigo asked petting the cat.

"I want to name him Toshiro!" Karin said with a grin.

Ichigo had to restrain himself from busting a gut laughing. Hichigo however had no problem with that.

"Won't your friend get mad?"

The cat seemed to hiss with agreement.

"Nah, I think he'd be flattered." Karin said as she cuddled with the cat.

"So cute!" Yuzu giggled.

Ichigo just twitched. _'If that's really the Toshiro I know I am going to castrate him!'_

Later…

Ichigo stared at the snow white cat that had entered his room. Yuzu had placed a blue collar on him with a silver bell. Toshiro meowed and then began to chase Kon around the room. Ichigo stared the cat some more then placed a call to Toshiro.

After some rings line was answered.

"_Yes?"_

"Is that you Toshiro?"

"_**It's not really him?"**_

Ichigo could almost hear the vein throbbing on the other side. _"What Kurosaki?"_

"Oh...you are there…I thought you got turned into a cat and adopted by my sisters."

"…_What?"_

"You'll see the next time you come over." Ichigo replied.

"AHHH! SOME ONE SAVE ME!" Kon screamed.

"Hey, I got to go now. I have to rescue Kon from you…err Toshiro-neko!"

Toshiro looked at the phone in his hand in disbelief.

"Why would Karin name a cat after me?"


	94. Parenthood

Ch. 94 Parenthood

9foxgrl

_Inspired by sakurademonalchemis_

**-This is a bit more slowed down happy chapter. If you don't like the pairings sorry, but I do. **

Time- four years after the end of the Bleach series

A group of parents were sitting around a table in the small town of Karakura talking. Behind them were their toddler children playing with their building blocks. The children had been born with in a two month period of each other and were practically raised in the same nursery.

**- Byakuya & Haruki (Hisana reincarnated?)**

The proper nobleman was startled to find that the woman he had been courting in the world of the living died and entered the Seretei. It took him a few days but he convinced the elders that she was perfect to marry since she was from a respected family when she was alive. Just a few months after their wedding she conceived their child or rather children.

The twins Hanako (girl) and Tatsuo (boy) were a surprise, he didn't know what to say when they had been born on the first day of the cherry blossom festivals. Rukia was determined to spoil them after she was named godmother. It had been hilarious when Hanako screamed in terror at the sight of the Chappy toys she brought her and Tatsuo started to chew on it in a 'feral' manner.

- **Grimmjow & Soi Fon**

Grimmjow never lived through anything so terrifying. And he thought he had seen truly terrifying things living in Hueco Mundo. Instead of having such a fiery temper she was acting rather sweet and innocent. It was the opposite of her normal stern demeanor. Even her Division was scared. That all changed in the delivery room when she crushed Grimmjow's hand and screaming to do things to him that he was sure was not physically possible without removing some of his bones.

But it was worth it to see the birth of their son Takehiko. Another thing was seeing his wife punt the mad scientist Mayuri through six walls, and a tree when he wanted to run tests on the baby.

He looked just like his father but held his mother's attitude with great strides. This was especially true since he was the dominant power and the eldest amongst his friends.

**- Ichigo & Orihime**

Ichigo was absolutely terrified when his fiancé told him that she was pregnant the day before their wedding. To his relief she didn't crave weird foods but normal foods. The only change was she actually became violent. Hichigo went completely underground during that period, claiming that the Devil himself was present in the woman.

The birth of their daughter Katsumi was the happiest day in Ichigo's life.

Seeing Isshin praise his son and daughter-in-law while holding her was amazing. Katsumi looked a great deal like her grandmother making Ichigo paranoid about leaving her around boys when she got older. Luckily she got along well with Hanako. It helped of course Hichigo vowed to protect her from any Hollows.

**- Kisuke & Yoruichi**

- Kisuke had to keep on his toes when Yoruichi was pregnant. While she wasn't violent she had unusual mood swings. One moment she would be happy and the next she would cry for no reason. It made the normally quirky man be cautious with what he said around her.

Their son Yoichi was already like his father. A complete trickster earning the nickname Kitsune from Ichigo.

**- Uryuu & Tatsuki**

This had been a surprise to everyone when the two hooked up. They had eloped for their wedding after college graduation. It had been worth it in Uryuu's case to see Ryuuken's face when he met his granddaughter Yukiko. She was a bundle of energy with a keen eye. Something everyone found out when started throwing toys into her cradle from the floor at one years old.

* * *

><p>Every third Saturday the parents would get together to let the children have play dates. They watched the children grow up. Takehiko and Yoichi were already becoming partners in crime with Yukiko acting as a median to keep them under control with her tiny fists. Hanako and Katsumi usually sat on the sidelines watching the boys in confusion before creating a wall of blocks to keep their 'crazy' away. Tatsuo, who was a quiet child usually stayed with them.<p>

After a few days of the children first meeting they became inseparable. Whenever Yukiko and Katsumi went to the Seretei the children would get together to play. Luckily Ukitake and the 13th usually kept them away from Mayuri…except the one time the three troublemakers snuck in while on a sugar high and destroyed an entire building in a game of tag.


	95. Reborn

Ch. 95 Reborn

9foxgrl

Inspired by _Hayate The Soul Reaper _(**sorry, I don't know much about Katekyo Hitman Reborn except for this part**).

Falling into a void.

That's all Ichigo felt as he was succumbing to the darkness. a fading dark green light had hit him dead on.

The screaming...

"ICHIGO!"

"KUROSAKI!"

...Why were they screaming?

BANG!

ROAR!

"REBORN!"

"...Did Zangestu just shoot Ichigo in the head?"

"...Yes...yes...he did..."

"...What the _Bleep_?"

Le gasp. "ULQUIORRA YOU SWORE?"


	96. Wombo Combo

Ch. 96 Wombo Combo!

9foxgrl

"You cannot defeat me." Kariya said as he walked to the female Bount trying to shield Uryuu.

Ichigo and newly named Hicihigo grinned evilly.

"Oh yeah?"

"Thinking what I'm thinking King?"

Uryuu blinked. "Are they going to use-? I should have brought some popcorn."

"What?"

"Do you have a camera?"

The duplicates charged the thousand year old Bount.

"HAPPY FEET!" Ichigo yelled as he kicked the man into the air. Followed by another, and another.

_**"WOMBO COMBO!"**_ Hichigo snarled as he kicked Kariya back down to Earth.

"OH!"

"OH!"

"_**WHERE ARE YOU AT? WHERE ARE YOU AT?**_ _**WHERE ARE YOU AT?"**_

"WOMBO COMBO!"

"_**HELL YEAH!"**_


	97. Too Slow

Ch. 97 Too Slow

9foxgrl

This is inspired by some of the New Chapters of Bleach. You should read it if you can.

"So, the Quincy are out for revenge against the Soul Society?" Ichigo asked as he dodged another arrow.

"So what if we are?"

"I take it it's revenge for wiping you guys out?" Ichigo said as he dodged another arrow.

"Yes! Now hold still!" the man snapped as he shot five arrows in quick succession only to have the boy dance around them. "How the Hell are able to dodge all of these?"

Ichigo just grinned.

"You're WAAAYYYY slower then my friend. He's a Quincy who can shoot ten times faster then you."

"Way! Itsugo! Nel can't hold on!"

"Come on! Can't you move any faster?" Ichigo yelled as he danced around the arrows again.

"HOLD STILL DAMMNIT!"


	98. Butterflies & Fan Girls

Ch. 98 Butterflies & Fan Girls

Ichigo blinked as he saw Aizen's form change with the Hokyogu.

"Hey Aizen...did you release a hallucination?"

"What?"

"Have you drinking then?"

"Of course not!"

Ichigo turned his head. "So..being a butterfly is scary? You're such a pansy! My fan club agrees with me."

"What fan club?"

There was a loud scream and cheering. Aizen gawked. On three skyscrapers were several girls cheering Ichigo on and screaming we love you.

"They are pathetic! Just like you ryoka!"

The fan girls stopped screaming and started to run the man over in midair and beating him up with their _'I LUV Ichigo'_ signs. Hell hath no fury like a fan girl.

Ishida stood in shock at the chaos. "Kurosaki...what in the Hell-?"

"I told them if they beat up Aizen I would let them take a picture of me without my shirt on."

"GET OUT OF MY WAY HUSSIES!"

*group swea tdrop*

"Holy crap Orihime..."


	99. It's Raining Nachos

Ch. 99 It's Raining Nachos

9foxgrl

This was inspired by _So Los Noches Fell by _wanderingmusician and _Cuisine of Death _by ryokablade

"So you guys took Orihime captive?" Ichigo asked the Espada slowly as if he was a slow dimwitted being.

"Yes, yes we did." he replied.

"And what is she doing…trapped in a cell all day?"

"Actually she is on kitchen duty today."

"So she's cooking?"

"Yes."

"For Aizen…"

"Yes…"

"When?"

"Today actually."

Ichigo blanched.

**_"I hope you guys have a stomach pump handy."_**

"She's cooking right now."

And with that the substitute Shinigami yelled "RETREAT" at the top of his lungs and started running for the sand dunes, pausing only to grab the little green haired Arrancar that had tagged along with him.

"Eh?"

Before the Espada could decipher what had happened the section where the kitchens were in Los Noches exploded.

"_**HOLY NACHOS!" **_several Hollows in a five hundred kilometer radius shouted as it literally started raining nachos.

A red haired girl popped out of the rubble.

"That…didn't happen the last time I made the Nacho Hat"


	100. Because Madness is Funny

Ch. 100 - Madness is Funny

_Inspired by sakurademonalchemist, Hayate The Soul Reaper, ShikaTachidoriKitsuneHebiTaka, yuukoXyoaiXfanXichihara, mistshadow_

_Down Time_

"_**You have such pretty hair Zanny." **_Hichigo said as he brushed the sword's ebony locks.

Zangetsu was currently tied down to a chair with chains and gagged.  
><em><strong>"So pretty…I think I'll braid it."<strong>_

**Grimmjow Method**

"_**For the love of Kami, shut her up!" **_Hichigo complained as Hinamori complained about Aizen's innocence.

"What do you suggest?"

"THE GRIMMJOW METHOD!" several Squad 11 members yelled as they jumped out of the bushes.

"Call Unohana, we got a Code G."

_**Shiro Cat pt. II**_

"Captain!"

"What?" Toshiro yelled from behind his mountain of paperwork as the random Shinigami came running in.

"I overheard Kurosaki saying he was going to give you a flea bath then get neutered and also get tested for rabies!"

Matsumoto spat out her sake.

"_WHAT?"_  
>"FOR KAMI'S SAKE HE'S TALKING ABOUT HIS DAMN CAT!"<p>

**Suigetsu's Hardship**

"They made fun of me again!" Aizen cried to Kyoka Suigetsu. "They made me wear silly outfits."

"It's alright, let it out." Kyoka said in a soothing voice as he lifted a giant mallet over his head.

Five seconds later Aizen was under his own hypnosis.

"I thought he would never shut up." the sword huffed as he reached for his crack pipe.

_**Dysfunctional Family **_

"Hold still!"

"Make me!"

"You will never catch me!"

Toshiro sweat dropped as he watched Hichigo and Ichigo chase Isshin around with water guns at the fourteenth annual Kurosaki summer barbeque. Several of their friends were there lounging about in the park by the stream.

"Is this normal?" Toshiro asked as the twins hit Isshin simultaneously in the face.

"For them yes. Just wait until we start splitting watermelons!"

"Yeah, last time I'll ever trust Hichigo with a chainsaw."

'_Sacrilege….'_

"Well, we are just a big dysfunctional family." Karin said with a laugh.

**The End**

A/N: The Big 100! Thanks to everyone who stuck with my from the beginning! Thanks to everyone who reviewed and inspired the chapters! Cyber cookies for everyone! 

P.s. if anyone wants to create a story from a one shot, go for! 


	101. Twilight isn't Literature

Ch. 101 Twilight isn't Literature!

9foxgrl

_**-Okay for the sake of my boredom I'm going to add a few more ch. to this story. Don't worry I wil continue my other stories. By the way, I'll still take requests.-**_

This is inspired by the awesomeness that is **JENXTHEJINX **and his fabulous work **Demyx Time**. Sorry Twilight fans!

* * *

><p>"Whose brilliant idea was it to volunteer me to substitute teach a class in the Academy?" Ichigo asked aloud as he approached the large building.<p>

_"I'm not sure, but they ust have been smoking something really strong."_ Zangetsu replied.

"You know, I'm starting to envy Hichigo right now. While he runs his little casino in Hueco Mundo, we're stuck teaching a literature class." Ichigo said as they entered his classroom.

After the last student came in Ichigo address the main issue at hand.

"Alright, now according to "Mitsuru-sensai you guys had to do essays on various literature in the Living World. I want you all to come up as I call you and give us a brief summary of the book you chose before giving me your essay. Let's get started with Akasura, Honda."

The time passed quickly. The books ranged from _Pride & Prejudice_ to _Berlin Alexanderplatz._ It was all going well until -

"My name is Xin, Kiku and my essay is on _Twilight_!"

Ichigo took the boy's head and started to hit it on the board just as Rukia came in showing a new student around.

"And here is our wonderful Literature class."

"TWI-LIGHT. ISN'T LITERAT-URE!"

"Right, lets go to the next room!"


	102. Summoning the Devil

Ch. 102 ~ Summoning the Devil

9foxgrl

-Okay, I got this idea while watching Hetalia-

Ichigo was sitting beside Ganju, just starring into the fire they had built to cook dinner on. Hanatarou had just started to cook the stew.

It was then an old nursery rhyme came to mind and he began to chant it out loud.

_Bring on the fire,_

_Bring on the Hell._

_Set everything ablaze so no trace remains._

_Bring on the fire-_

"I FEEL LIKE WE'RE SUMMONING THE DEVIL!" Hanatarou screamed as the hidden passage they were in started to get darker.


	103. Stay out of the Lab

Ch. 103 ~ Stay out of the Lab

9foxgrl

Inspired by _AmaltheaLuchiaAizen_

"I can't believe this is happening!"

Grimmjow snickered. "It's happening."

"The light pink dress really brings out your eyes." Tia offered.

"You're not helping!"

Gin just laughed as he continued to brush Aizen's curly locks back and secure it with a large pink bow.

"Well then you should have stayed out of my lab." Szayel sighed.

-One hour earlier-

Aizen was annoyed that none of his Espada were making any progress in his plans to attack Karakura. In fact ever since that ryoka Kurosaki inspired them to be actors it was the exact opposite.

So in an effort to stop them he went to Szayel's lab in hopes of getting him to create something that would poison the ryoka or at least making violently ill.

When he arrived no one was in there, not even those squints that Szayel occasionally devoured. Instead there was a bubbling beaker that gave off a curious scent. Getting closer Aizen accidentally bumped the table, sending the beaker falling onto him.

He blacked out for about five minutes before Szayel returned and awoke him with a kick to the ribs.

"What happened?" Aizen asked. He paled. "Why is my voice so high?"

"You spilled a delicate serum I was creating that would not only de-age you, but give you a gender swap. You have taken on the form of a prepubescent female." Szayel said directing him to a mirror.

Just one look at that innocent face surrounded by brown untamed curls made Aizen faint.


	104. Big Brother

Ch. 104 Big Brother

9foxgrl

**Through out the ages many people can agree on that big brothers can be protective of their little sisters. From chasing away bullies to chasing away potential future boyfriends.**

**Ichigo Kurosaki is no exception…**

**Now if only Ulquiorra remembered that.**

"What do you think you're doing with Kurosaki's sisters?" Tatsuki yelled as she tried to stop the Espada from grabbing the two unconscious girls.

"Aizen-sama has order for them to be brought to Hueco Mundo as our prisoners." the stoic man replied.

Tatsuki blinked. She sighed then leaned against a tree.

"Your funeral dude."

Ulquiorra looked at her in confusion, but shrugged it off and turned to pick up Yuzu.

WHAM!

'_Did any one get the name of that Menos?' _Ulquiorra thought as he was sent flying clear across the field.

He struggled to sit up, he gasped as he realized that his masked was cracked, and his arm was broken.

"What. The Hell. Do You think you were doing….touching my sisters?"

The last thing the Espada saw before blacking out was Ichigo turning into a Vasto Lorde and bitch slapping him.


	105. Insults

Ch. 105 Insults

9foxgrl

**Hichigo**

"Err Ichigo?"

"Yeah?"

"Why is your Hollow doing with Tatsuki?"

"Having an insult battle." Ichigo replied. "Popcorn?"

"**Don't insult my genius!"**

"Yeah, you're the only a genius with an IQ of 60!"

"**Maybe you should go migrate with the birds!"**

"That's funny! Coming from eh guy who thought COCONUTS MIGRATE!"

"**YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES!"**

"THAT MAKES NO SENSE!"

"**NEITHER DOES YOUR FACE!"**

-SMACK!-

"**OH IT'S ON!"**

9foxgrl: Props if you know where two of these insults came from!


	106. Ichigo - Sleep Oh Sh

Ch. 106 Ichigo - Sleep = Oh Sh**

9foxgrl

BOOM!

BOOM!

BOOM!

There were loud screams as Rukia and Renji were sent flying by the Hollow's roar.

CRASH!

"Oh crap."

"What?"

"We crashed beside Ichigo's house."

"So-?"

The two Shinigami dodge a flying tuba which got stuck on the Hollow's head, followed by a toilet plunger, and then the toilet, a copy of MacBeth, an old computer monitor, a butcher knife, and then an extremely agitate strawberry stuck his head out his bedroom window.

"WILL YOU PEOPLE SHUT UP? I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!


	107. Madness is Contagious

Ch. 107

"**It hurts!"**

"Hold still!"

"**GAH!"**

"Hold still."

"**OW!"**

"HOLD STILL!" Ichigo snapped as he pushed his Hollow half against the wall.

"**Pull it out!" **Hichigo whimpered. **"Before you break it in me!"**

"Will you shut up." Ichigo growled as he had to get back in position.

"**Stop!" **Hichigo cried as he felt the pressure on his skin again.

"_WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?" _Zangetsu screamed as he crashed through the tower. He sweat dropped as he saw Ichigo trying to get some tiny shards of glass out of Hichigo's upper thigh with a pair of tweezers.

THUD!

"**Is he okay?"**

"He'll be fine." Ichigo said as he saw the man's leg twitch. "Now hold still."

**Hey everyone, I've started a one shot serious called Brotherly Moments. So if you a Hetalia fan or just like a good sense of humor and random moments. Check it out.**

**9foxgrl out!**

**PEACE**


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